Great Balls O’ Fire

US media have published photos of the singed underwear that a Nigerian terror suspect allegedly wore to hide explosives in, as investigators in the Yemen attempt to piece together his movements and contacts.

The pictures provided by the FBI and obtained by ABC News show a packet of powder explosives that had been sewn into the crotch of the underpants.

The specially modified underwear was allegedly worn by 23-year-old suspect Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab during his Christmas Day attempt to bring down a Detroit-bound Airbus A330 with 290 people on board.   – stuff.co.nz

That’s great.  To close out the year, the decade, we get the Crotch Bomber

Like most Americans, I’m relieved this asshat failed in his attempt to slaughter innocent people, but I sorely regret he didn’t crisp his balls in the process.   I figure the boys in the lockup will take care of that for him.

One issue I haven’t seen addressed in the media – evidently most poundits (sic) have devoted themselves to blaming our socialist/apologist president (and did you notice that he’s Black?)  — is what a stupid pet trick this was.  Had that plane gone down in a fiery blaze it would have fallen where – in Detroit?  Who would have noticed?  More flaming rubble in a desperately empty neighborhood somewhere.   The remaining teenage hoods would have stripped it bare in minutes and resold to the last Ford plant still on line.

I suppose the singed underwear will become evidence, so many years will pass before it’s available for resale  as (a) art, (b)  a religious relic, (c) a significant historical artifact, or (d) of fetishistic import.  (Pardon my grammar.)   I will not be surprised to see replications adorning heads during Fantasy Fest in Key West next Halloween.  I am surprised to note that terrorists don’t go commando, though.

At least it took Tiger Woods out of the headlines for a day or two.  Unless we find out that he was fucking the 23-year-old suspect, too.  No, never mind.  Right age, but he’s not a blonde.

Just another reason why the appropriate salutation on New Year’s Eve is to step into the john and flush the toilet.  This has been a dreadful decade.  Good fucking riddance.

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6 Responses to Great Balls O’ Fire

  1. Tanya Hyde says:

    And Happy Healthy New Year to you, too, babe. What a sour ending, but I know why: you need some sun, which has been in short supply. Get some, okay? See ya on the beach.

  2. Frank of Oregon says:

    Ditto Tanya. You’re not one of these whack-jobs we have to look out for this New Years with the whole blue moon thing going on, are you? Have a drink and party. Have two. Happy new year!

  3. Ghost of Arthur Hailey says:

    I guess we know that mad bombers don’t wear boxers…

  4. Mister E says:

    No argument: this was a lousy decade. Looking ahead, though, I’m not especially encouraged, either. Can we jump ahead 25 years? I’ll take that chance over 2010.

  5. FerfeLaBat says:

    Two Days and counting. Let’s hear it for the next decade? I have wine ready for the toast.

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