Wrinkle It

Pardon my snot, but how come all you Frigidaire addicts who whine like overworked air conditioners about Florida’s heat and humidity non-stop for 8 months of the year aren’t out there rejoicing this week in the near-freezing bluster?  Isn’t this a dream come true, a come-to-life tropical fantasy?

The British have their own way of dealing with Arctic conditions:

Britons snowed in by the wintry weather have been flocking to an extra-marital dating site in the last 24 hours.

IllicitEncounters.com, which provides a platform for married people to conduct affairs, said on Wednesday it has seen an unexpected increase in visitors over the past 24 hours, and received a record number of new profiles on Wednesday morning

The website said it has gained 2567 new members in the last six days, suggesting that January will be its busiest month ever. –stuff.co.nz

What better time to slip out for some warm snuggle than the dead of winter?  Makes me wonder what the scene is here in the Banana Republic of South Florida, given these unusual weather conditions lately.  But I also think I won’t investigate.  Guido is absolutely beside herself with cold-related misery, and she has lots of knives.

Most – that also means “not all” – of my married friends are faithful to their spouses.  I used to know couples with so-called “open marriages,” where both carried on affairs with third parties, and even had occasional threesomes, but I don’t roll with that crowd any more.  (Dammit.)  The strayers I know now just basically cheat on their spouses, keeping it a secret even while letting friends know – evidently part of the thrill is describing the game, like going over the round of golf over drinks at the 19th hole.

I’d call Tiger Woods for expert input here – about philandering, not golf – but he’s been difficult to reach lately.

It’s not my business what others do with (or to) their loved ones.  I’d rather not even know, because if I do, I become an unwilling conspirator.  No matter how civilized an “illicit encounter” is conducted – I suspect this British website is the pinnacle of discretion and polished manners – by its very nature it’s less than the 100% honesty I want in my own relationships.  What others do with theirs is their business.  Have a good time.

It would be amusing if both parties in a couple registered unbeknownst to the other, submitted their profiles, and ended up matched with each other.  Sounds like the plot of a really stupid romantic comedy.  Suggested title: “Getting Screwed.”

Stay warm, everybody.

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5 Responses to Wrinkle It

  1. Mumblety Peg says:

    Men are such pigs.

    • Human Buffet says:

      Why are MEN such pigs, Peg? Are you under the delusion that the only ones who conduct affairs are married men and single women?

  2. Lu Senz says:

    Speaking of cold and dead — how come you didn’t post anything about your Philadelphia Eagles?

  3. SWM says:

    Do you like Pina Coladas?

  4. Miami Iguana says:

    This cold weather sucks …

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