Pipe Dreams

Yesterday was my 500th post on this blog, which either nothing to brag about or something to lament.  If time is money, I understand why I’m broke (as opposed to timeless).

So tonight I’m taking it easy.  But I couldn’t resist this:

A man who got his penis stuck in a steel pipe had to be cut free by firefighters using a metal grinder, after doctors in casualty could not free his genitals from their metal trap.

The firefighters used the four-and-a-half-inch industrial metal grinder to cut the pipe from around the anaesthetized man’s penis, [which] was left bruised and swollen, but otherwise unharmed by its traumatic day.

The man, thought to be aged around 40, did not explain to hospital staff how exactly the pipe got stuck around his penis, after he presented himself at the hospital’s Accident & Emergency department on Tuesday morning. He was said to be ‘quite concerned and anxious’.

A Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service spokesman said: “It was a very delicate operation that required a very steady hand and the crew was worried about things getting too hot during the cutting.  I’ve only come across this type of thing three or four times in my 17 years as a firefighter. It’s not a daily occurrence.”   — Metro.co.uk

It is not surprising that the poor bugger kept mum about exactly how he trapped his schlong in a pipe.  It is only slightly more surprising that the firefighter encountered “this type of thing” three or four times before.  Maybe there’s a support group somewhere.   Somebody Google “steel pipe fuckers.”

Clearly this is Jerry Springer material, if not a vice presidential candidate in the making.    Next time – and there’s sure to be one; if not a metal pipe then maybe a vacuum cleaner hose or the ass end of a dead fish – he should make sure he gets it on film.  It might be a new career.

Not to mention a good start for the next 500.  Thanks, mate.

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5 Responses to Pipe Dreams

  1. Mister E says:

    Congratulations on post 500.

  2. The Real World says:

    While you were busy blogging away, I passed you by. Sure hope you enjoyed yourself, but I’d be lying if I told you you were missed.

  3. Ted End says:

    Oh, bullcrap. That’s not his penis, that’s a dog. How dum do you think we are?

    • Diesel Fitter says:

      Ted End: when you say “we” I say No. I’m sure with your insight and intelligence, you understand what I mean.

  4. Lois Terms says:

    You’re right, it will certainly happen again. I have always been amazed at what men will do with their dicks, to their dicks, and for their dicks. Even when it ends up with blisters and blood, they do it again.

    You might think that creatures who think with their dicks would at least do things for their dicks’ benefit, but so often, as this story demonstrates again, it’s the opposite.

    I have to say, Squathole, for a guy, you seem to know a lot about dicks.

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