TACOMA, Washington— A blood center is offering donors a deal: Give a pint of blood, get a pint of beer…..The News Tribune of Tacoma reported Monday that donors who are at least 21 years old are given a coupon for a free pint of beer.

Participating pubs and restaurants must wait at least four hours after the blood drive ends before donors can collect their free pint. – Sun/Sentinel

I’d call this a fair exchange.  In fact, do it often enough and it would be an exact exchange.  I get in touch with the program director,  Bud Letting, and ask him who cooked this one up.

“Not sure,” he says.  “Rumor is an exec from the Olympia Brewery, but that’s too good to be true.  And then there was that underground flick where a vampire was buying underage girls, getting ‘em loaded, then biting their necks when they passed out.  ‘Dracula Does Date Rape’ or something.”

I don’t  remember that one, Bud.

“Might have been a local production.  But hell –  what’s the difference?  It’s a great idea, and it tripled the number of donors!”

Well, who wouldn’t exchange a pint of blood for beer?   The blood bank wins, the donor wins, and the  bars win.

“Oh, trust me, there were some complaints.  A couple churches, the usual blue-noses.  Local cops made noises about drunk drivers, a few politically correctnicks  going on about bad role models and incentivizing bad behavior.   Blah blah.  It’s only beer, ferchrissakes.”

Makes me wonder what else people might be tempted to donate for a free beer.

“That was part of the discussion, too,” he laughs.  “How about voting?  Or staying in school?”

Or plain garden variety dating and sex?

“Works for me!” says Bud.  “Love makes the world go ‘round, you know, and beer just greases the wheels.  Say, gotta go.”   He hangs up.

Beer and sex.  What a concept.  Just in time for Friday night, too.

This entry was posted in NIMBY. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Bloodweiser

  1. Hugo Chavez says:

    I gave out bottles of “Ron Anejo” to anyone who would go vote for me and I promised them plenty of rum and arepas for years to come. I won. You Americans know nothing … it stinks in here … sulfur?

  2. Great beer song!

  3. Piles says:

    Homer Simpson is a one-man voting bloc.

  4. Anna Paquin says:

    I’ll take a bottle of longneck trueblood o positive. I like it because it has an aftertaste of the perfect mix of hops and barley.

  5. TIII says:

    I cant donate blood.
    Ive been to third world too recently.
    I CAN drink the SH*T out of some free beer though!
    Love the mug!

  6. Dawgbowl says:

    I wonder if there’s a scale developed that matches voting tendencies with amount of beer consumed. Like, drink 16 oz beer and vote Republican, 32 oz beer vote Democrat, 48 oz vote Socialist, etc.

    Actually, if it’s true that beer makes you stupid, that scale would be reversed. 🙂

  7. My Eddie says:

    Beer ain’t drinkin!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s