Wan Hung Lo

And I thought the mold-prone dry wall was unsettling.

In November, investigators in Hunan province provided details about a July raid on an underground workshop where they found laborers lubricating condoms with vegetable oil in unsterile conditions, passing off the counterfeits as high-quality-brand products.

In another case, workers recycled used condoms into hair bands in southern China.

“People could be infected with AIDS, [genital] warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while weaving their hair into plaits or buns,” a dermatologist told the state-run China Daily newspaper.  — LA Times

Where do we begin with this one?

Let’s start with the word “condom,” which isn’t nearly as entertaining as (e.g.) love glove, the goalie, willie warmer, sheath, nodding sock, raincoat, French letter, cock sock, gentleman’s jerkin, etc., and imagine what it must sound like in Mandarin.    Then run through a series of your favorite brand names and styles.  Old faithful Trojan is still around, and so are  Max Headroom, Latex Louie , Jiffy Lube, Needle Nogginz, Putter Protector, Rough Rider, Big Boy, Rain Man, and a zillion others.  Best of all — did you know you can buy them in flavors now?

Back in the day, the joke was about the corduroy condom for a groovy kind of love.

So when you consider the variety, as well as the diverse applications and apertures for their joyful deployment, the thought of unsterile sheaths coated in rancid vegetable oil is shall we say a trifle off-putting.  Why can’t they stick (sorry) to copyright violations, fake iPods, beer, DVDs, and designer handbags?

Besides, what sense does it make for the Chinese to try to kill us?  We owe them money.  Big money.

Of course, this is just one more example of that time-honored spirit of capitalist creativity, honest endeavor that encourages all imaginable violations for the sake of making a buck.  If it creates death and disease among those round-eyed devils across the pond, what the hell.  We’ll just make more.  Especially if the condoms don’t work anyway.

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6 Responses to Wan Hung Lo

  1. Ted End says:

    So, what’s the joke about the corduroy condom and the groovy kind of love? You never got around to repeating it.

  2. Lois Terms says:

    They’re available for women now as well. Go Google to read some of the brand names.

  3. Missing Lincoln says:

    The trans fats are the tasty part of the sausage…

  4. Barbara Ganoush says:

    Abstinenece makes the heart grow fonder.

  5. Religeous Right Wringer says:

    See….we told you…..there is no such thing as safe sex. Abstinence till marriage & fornication for procreation only is the best policy. At least we real Christians will be safe from yellow-slanty-eyed terrorist.

    • Camiel Toe says:

      Silly fellow…..who wants sex to be safe? And what could be less safe than procreation?

      Let the Chinese have sex with eggrolls. Hold the mustard.

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