Fire in the (Squat)Hole

Well, I went to the doctor

I said, “I’m feeling kind of rough…”

“Let me break it to you son,

your shit’s fucked up!”

I said, “My shit’s fucked up?!

Well, I don’t see how!”

He said, “The shit that used to work,

Won’t work now!”

— Warren Zevon, “My Shit’s Fucked Up”

And it was, too.  He died (died) following a long battle with cancer, writing great stuff the whole way.

I don’t anticipate the same fate: prostate cancer is common, treatable, and even curable.  In my case, it seems to have been caught early, but we’ll know more over the next few weeks as we run additional tests (bone scan, CAT scan, FCAT).  Then we decide on treatment, if any.

My brother, who is three years older,  is about 6 months ahead of me in this: he was diagnosed last summer, and just concluded his radiation treatment in November.  Like the redhead fetish, it runs in the family (but not as dangerous), so  this development is not surprising.  I either grew it younger, or it was detected earlier.

The irony here, of course, is that after 25 years in the Florida sun — not to mention the years before on Jersey beaches and everywhere else the opportunity presented itself — the part of me that gets cancerous is one where the sun don’t never shine.

That’s all the news right now, but as things happen, I’ll pass it on.  Like gas.  Which, if the treatments are anything like the up-the-ass-poking biopsy, should be plentiful.

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12 Responses to Fire in the (Squat)Hole

  1. Frank of Oregon says:

    Wow. New meaning to the word “bummer.” Godspeed and keep your spirits.

  2. Better get a real crack doctor to handle this.

    My doctor always checked my prostate. Always…which i thought was odd since he had no arms.

    Keep cool , honey bunch. This too shall pass.

  3. Ted End says:

    Why did you post a picture of refrigerator mold?

  4. Missing Lincoln says:

    Anyone can see you do your best work on or about a toilet. Keep it that way.


  5. gwizzz says:

    Check your gmail.


  6. Scott says:

    I am so very, very sorry. Keep us up-to-date, I want to read the wit and see you be alright.

    I had an ass crack to make but it seemed very inappropriate.

  7. Tanya Hyde says:

    I’m sad you’re going through this…..but I know you’ll stay positive, as always. You’re right about the sun. What you need to do is come down to Haulover with the rest of my Tanorexics and expose the area. But bring sunscreen, Caspar-ass! 🙂

  8. Dawgbowl says:

    I lost a lot of family to cancer — lung, stomach, bone — and every time the doctors said they ‘caught it too late.’ So you’re ahead of the game, it seems. My thoughts’ll be with you.

  9. I’m so sorry to hear this but glad you caught it early. Be well, funny guy! You bring sunshine to the blogosphere.

  10. Sharpshooter says:

    I sent you some mail.
    It seems you caught this thing on time and that is good. Hope you come out alright friend. Our thoughts are with you.

  11. R. says:

    a belated good luck squatster. I hope everything is going well with your treatment.

    Peace in the Middle East!

  12. Squathole says:

    Thanks, everybody, for the good wishes. Assuming I live (one can never be confident when placing oneself in the hands of the health care industry) I’ll provide updates. Saw a radiation oncologist just yesterday, and we’re getting closer to a decision about what to do.

    Meanwhile, I’m having sex.

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