The slogan “I check the breasts of my workers on my own” was devised by a cancer hospital…aimed at convincing employers to encourage their female workers to have their breasts checked regularly for cancer symptoms.
“This is a sexist slogan that obviously brings sexual molestation to mind,” the head of the Feminoteka foundation, Joanna Piotrowska [told reporters]. “This campaign treats women as objects…. I wonder if this would be equally funny if it were changed to ‘I check the penises of my workers on my own’.” — Stuff.co.nz
Hmmm… I wonder, too. Okay, I finished wondering. Yeah, it’s equally funny. It’s even funnier that Ms. TongueTwist would put it that way. Not only wouldn’t any man laugh hysterically, but he’d immediately line up for a colleague’s examination on a daily basis. Or, failing that, he’d perform that self examination in the cafeteria.
In fact, isn’t this service contained in the health care reform bill the House just approved? Who needs death panels when you can be fatally mortified?
Besides, it is well documented that looking at breasts is healthy:
According to German research, men staring at women’s breasts prolong their lives with years. “Just 10 minutes of looking at the charms of a well-endowed females is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out,” said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.
I imagine that a workplace where men gaze with concern at their female colleagues’ anatomy is not only a happy, productive place, but a quiet one. Drooling doesn’t make a lot of noise, and most men learn early on in the hellish lives women create for them that silent whimpering produces a better outcome.
I am not aware of parallel research involving a man’s package, but I hereby submit my credentials while they’re still intact. Which may not be for much longer after Guido reads this.