Check Your WHAT at the Door?

The slogan “I check the breasts of my workers on my own” was devised by a cancer hospital…aimed at convincing employers to encourage their female workers to have their breasts checked regularly for cancer symptoms.

“This is a sexist slogan that obviously brings sexual molestation to mind,” the head of the Feminoteka foundation, Joanna Piotrowska [told reporters].  “This campaign treats women as objects…. I wonder if this would be equally funny if it were changed to ‘I check the penises of my workers on my own’.”  —

Hmmm… I wonder, too.  Okay, I finished wondering.  Yeah, it’s equally funny.  It’s even funnier that Ms. TongueTwist would put it that way.  Not only wouldn’t any man laugh hysterically, but he’d immediately line up for a colleague’s examination on a daily basis.  Or, failing that, he’d perform that self examination in the cafeteria.

In fact, isn’t this service contained in the health care reform bill the House just approved?  Who needs death panels when you can be fatally mortified?

Besides, it is well documented that looking at breasts is healthy:

According to German research, men staring at women’s breasts prolong their lives with years. “Just 10 minutes of looking at the charms of a well-endowed females is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out,” said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.

I imagine that a workplace where men gaze with concern at their female colleagues’ anatomy is not only a happy, productive place, but a quiet one.   Drooling doesn’t make a lot of noise, and most men learn early on in the hellish lives women create for them that silent whimpering produces a better outcome.

I am not aware of parallel research involving a man’s package, but I hereby submit my credentials while they’re still intact.  Which may not be for much longer after Guido reads this.

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Check Your WHAT at the Door?

  1. Piles says:

    I can tell you find cancer treatment research tedious.

  2. Mumblety Peg says:

    Men are such pigs, and you rule the trough.

  3. Bubba Clinton says:

    ain’t that the truth.

  4. Frank of Oregon says:

    Maybe they don’t talk, but they sure do communicate.

    • Thanks for keeping me “aBREAST” of the latest DEVELOPMENTS and keeping it short and sweet so as not to MILK the subject. I’d write more but I’m going to the AURIOLES game today in Jupiter. I’d give to Feminoteka but I hear they don’t LACKT AID.Thanks for the MAMMORIES.

      Betcha never heard none of them before.Pretty clever, huh.

  5. Missing Lincoln says:

    This website needs a gym…

  6. Diesel Fitter says:

    Hey, did you know that “Feminoteka” is a Polish word meaning “hideously ugly hairy overweight women with bad attitufdes, no sense of humor, and a complete pain in the ass to be around”?

  7. Lois Terms says:

    Lonely, Diesel? You should be.

  8. Barbara Ganoush says:

    Give YOUR rather lecherous reaction, the feminist’s response makes sense. Female breasts drive some men straight back into their infancy, there’s no reasoning with them. The men, I mean.

  9. Borkon says:

    No post for 3 days. Maybe Guido DID cut you up. But if she didn’t, maybe this is the opportunity to go back to some Phillies talk. The season starts in less than 2 weeks, you know.

  10. Lu Senz says:

    Ditto Borkon. Play ball, not bawl.

    The team to be wary of in the NL East this season is Atlanta. Yeah, them again. Their pitching is back, and they have some young talent (like Heyward) that could gel a formidable line-up.

    Speaking of line-up, your Phillies have as strong a starting 8 as anybody, so the debate over where Polanco and Victorino bat is almost irrelevant. My guess is that they’ll be alternated through the season, along with Jimmy Rollins (who will pout).

    How’s that, Borkon? We’ll get to my Cubbies next. Your turn, Squatter!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s