The Long and Short Of It

Meinhardt Raabe, who played the Munchkin coroner in “The Wizard of Oz” and proclaimed in the movie that the Wicked Witch of the East was “really most sincerely dead,” has died. He was 94.  His caregiver, Cindy Bosnyak, said Raabe — pronounced RAH’-bee — died Friday morning at a hospital in Orange Park, Fla. He was one of the few surviving Munchkins from the 1939 film.

Raabe, born in Watertown, Wis., in 1915, was a member of the Midget City cast at the Chicago World’s Fair in 1934. He also performed at other fairs, including the San Diego Exposition in 1935.   [He] was about 3 1/2 feet tall when the movie was made,  eventually reaching about 4 1/2 feet.  He toured the country for 30 years in the Oscar Mayer  Weinermobile, promoting hot dogs as “Little Oscar, the World’s Smallest Chef.”

Raabe was one of the 124 Munchkins in the film classic and one of only nine who had speaking parts.  –

Odds are that if you’ve ever driven upstate, you saw this dude.  Or rather, you didn’t see him: he was the shrimp in the 4-door Camry in front of you, completely invisible except maybe for a little paw on the wheel.  There are more little people like this, shrunken and sun-withered like prunes, driving big cars around Central Florida, than there were in all of Oz.

I had the misfortune once to get run into by one of these inept gnomes.  Little bastard jumped a light, classic New York style, and clipped the back of my car.  Not that hard, but it threw him into his own steering wheel, and he staggered out wobbly and gasping.  “Are you hurt?” I ask him (trying not to laugh).  “Naw,” he says, then looks at the damage to his car.  “But I ain’t happy.”  “Really,” I ask, “Which one are you?  Sneezey?  Dopey?  Doc?”

It’s politically incorrect to laugh at dwarves and midgets; in fact, you’re not supposed to even use those terms any more.  They’re “little people,” or “longitudinally challenged.”  In the good old days, you could step into any Irish bar and see a dwarf-tossing contest while you slurped your Guinness, now they’re considered as brutal and immoral as a cock fight.

There still remain show business opportunities for the sawed-off among us.  I used to enjoy watching professional midget wrestling, which is still available , and naturally, there’s plenty of midget porn where you can see midget-on-midget action in assorted gender combinations, as well as the usual range of kinks and twists (midget bestiality, midget bondage, midget wet-and-messy, etc.).  Gotta love teh intenets

Anyway, 94 years later, it’s one fewer on the highways today.  Short stature, long life.  Rest in Peace.

This entry was posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip, People Who Died, Died. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to The Long and Short Of It

  1. Tattoo says:

    da plane, da plane boss!

  2. Diesel Fitter says:

    That joke is almost as old as the dead munchkin, and not nearly as short.

  3. Joe Balls says:

    I LOVE midget wrestling, esepcially since the little freaks started doping and juicing like the big guys. Watching a midget climb the ropes like a crab in a bucket, especially when his opponenet grabs him and pulls him off.

  4. What???? They stopped midget tossing in Ireland. Next thing, the priests ‘ll stop fucking the little boys over there and all we’ll have left is the Guiness.

  5. Living Will says:

    If short people got no reason to live, how come this one hung around for close to a century?

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