Today – Wednesday – promises to be a Very Good Day. At 4 this afternoon I will wander into the appropriate office at work and sign papers effecting my separation from my job.
It’s not quite a resignation, nor is it a dismissal. I could remain, but the circumstances would be unacceptable. I’m a nonprofit executive with advanced skills who was hired to perform certain duties that require a level of cooperation and communication that has not been forthcoming, and clearly, after two years, won’t ever happen. We all know it. Say good-bye, and wish me well.
I am promised a generous separation package that includes medical coverage, which, under the circumstances, is vital. Which means that by 5:00 today, it’ll be 5:00 for 5 months. 🙂
So while this is not a “Take This Job and Shove It” moment, it nevertheless feels pretty good. The worst part is saying good-bye to many colleagues with whom I got along very well, some of whom I’ll remain in contact with.
I’ve been off since Thursday of last week, sending emails to everybody, all of whom begin by questioning my sanity. This is not a good job market for non-profit people, I’m not 30 years old anymore, and did I forget that I was just diagnosed with freaking cancer?
Actually, the diagnosis is a major factor in my decision. The stress level at work, the ongoing frustration, the sense every day that I’m unproductive, wasting my time, and in a very real sense stealing money from the people who pay me….these are real bad thoughts to tote around, and combine to severely impede my capacity to cope. One’s mental state plays a big role in one’s physical well being. I read that somewhere.
No, I won’t identify, let alone bad-mouth the employer – I haven’t even alluded to that entity in this blog over the 2+ years I’ve worked there, abandoning the other blog because it named me and I never wanted the association to be made – nor will I bitch about my disappointment (or speculate about theirs). Burning your britches behind you only blisters your ass. All of us have better things to do, and look forward to achieving what we can.
So tonight, I’ll treat myself to a weekday shot of celebratory tequila, and tomorrow, I’ll go to the beach, maybe drop in on Tanya Hyde and the Tanorexics for some reorientation. The sun is strong, and life is short. I read that somewhere, too.