Save the Earth! Hork Up a Fur Ball!

Want to pitch in and do your part to clean up the Gulf of Mexico oil spill? Get a haircut – and then donate your locks to Matter of Trust, a nonprofit group that uses hair to make mats and booms that can combat oil spills.  The mats soak up oil from the air, skin or water, according to the organization.

You touch the oil with the hair and the hair just sucks it right up,” Matter of Trust President Lisa Gautier told the Florida Times-Union. “It looks sort of like a thick paper towel, about 1 foot by 1 foot, half an inch thick.”

Matter of Trust has been collecting human hair and pet fur to help combat oil spills for about two years now. Thousands of salons across the country donate hair clippings that are swept up off their floors, according to the Matter of Trust Web site. —  NY Daily News

I don’t quite get this…….they toss these hair cigars out on the oil, they soak it all up…..and then what?  What happens next?  Do they sink to the bottom?  Or are they scooped up and sent off to the landfill, or maybe the refinery?

This news pleases Guido.  With 5 cats and a dog tearing through our house, she sweeps up the equivalent of a medium-sized housecat every 4 days, and that’s just on the floor.  “Get the address,” she says.  “We can start this right away.”

My suggestion that we just send the whole dog is not met with approval.

Meanwhile, the state of Arizona chimed in with an offer of its own.  Now that they can bust virtually anybody who looks like an illegal alien, they’ve offered to send them out on the Gulf to use as retainer booms.  Just tie a bunch of them together, end to end, and let ‘em float.  A whole new meaning and social acceptability to the term “wetback.”

“Y’all can shave ‘em first, you wanna use their hair,”   stated one local authority from a border town.  “Some of these Mexicans are as hairy as apes, too.  Be worth yer while, I reckon.”

Wow.  Win win for everyone, huh.

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Save the Earth! Hork Up a Fur Ball!

  1. Lois Terms says:

    Hair of the dog, as it were. Somehow the thought of that much hair in one place is as unsettling as the oil spill.

  2. Human Buffet says:

    Yowza. Now when I shave my nuts, I have someplace to send off the clippings.

  3. Mein Herr,
    Thank you. I always wanted to know where to send the wet soapy pubes that fall off and wind up on my shower drain when I’m done showeirng .
    Also, is this tax-deductible?

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