Christie Brinkley Sexually Assaulted in Aventura

I know it’s Saturday, but this one has too many punch lines to resist.

An Aventura man was arrested on Friday and charged with having sex with his dog, a Great Dane named Christie Brinkley.

Armand M. Pacher, 64, a former insurance executive, was booked into a Miami-Dade jail on a charge of animal cruelty, a third-degree felony punishable by up to five years in prison.

Pacher’s veterinarian in Gainesville reported him to police after an office worker called him to reschedule eye surgery for the 2 ½-year-old dog and Pacher talked about sex, according to an arrest warrant.  “She doesn’t seem to enjoy it as much when we have sex. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been as energetic lately and that’s why she’s not enjoying it,” he allegedly told the staffer when she asked about the dog’s health, the arrest warrant said.

Later, at the clinic, a veterinarian concluded that the spayed dog’s body had evidence of forced sexual activity, the warrant said. The doctor said the evidence could not have come from another dog, the warrant said.

Pacher’s attorney, Jeffrey Weiner, said his client denies making the comment, and the allegation. He said the employee misunderstood a wisecrack. – Miami Hurled

A wise crack, eh?  And a trifle swollen.

I guess the writing was on the wall when the horndog named her.  And by the way, pronounce his name: “Arm and pack her.”  Was the dog carrying when he climbed aboard?  There’s also something sophomorically giggle-worthy about the attorney in this case, Mr. Wiener.  Uh-huh-huh.

I will now resume my regular (if not normal) weekend activities.

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3 Responses to Christie Brinkley Sexually Assaulted in Aventura

  1. ya'gotta'guessit says:

    Try that crap with Marmaduke…go on, just try it.

  2. Billy Joel says:

    I told you she was a bitch.

  3. Mel Gibson says:

    She deSERVED iT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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