Everybody Must Get Stoned

It takes a village.

KABUL, Afghanistan — The Taliban  on Sunday ordered their first public executions by stoning since their fall from power nine years ago, killing a young couple who had eloped, according to Afghan officials and a witness.

Mr. Khan [a local farmer] estimated that about 200 villagers participated in the executions, including [the man’s] father and brother, and [the woman’s] brother, as well as other relatives, with a larger crowd of onlookers who did not take part.

“People were very happy seeing this,” Mr. Khan maintained, saying the crowd was festive and cheered during the stoning. The couple, he said, “did a bad thing.” – NYTimes

See what happens on European Sunday afternoons when soccer season ends?   Of course, it’s doubtful that the Taliban would approve of organized sports any more than they like out-of-wedlock sex.  Not their favorite way to, um, “score.”

It seems, though, that a shrewd and ambitious business mind could cash in on this activity.  Obviously there’s a spectator market.  Sunday Stonings!!  Suppose they make them a ritual, and enlist sponsors to advertise and prominent spokesmen to promote the activity world-wide.  Right away I think of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Rolling Rock beer for the name and brand.  And of course, whatever theme music is developed would be the ultimate in rock, right?

Ten years of American presence costing billions of dollars and loss of life, this crap continues.  Out in the villages the 8th century rolls on undisturbed.  The poppies grow unmolested, Kabul’s corruption makes Chicago look like Mayberry, and there’s no improvement in sight, let alone an end.

Once upon a horrible time, we had a very good reason to invade Afghanistan.  There was a clear mission supported by much of the world community.  That clarity of mission is missing today, the vision  blurry…….hey!  Maybe it’s stoned.

Mr. President:  Get us out of here.

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4 Responses to Everybody Must Get Stoned

  1. 'Nonymous says:

    Yeah, how about it. These are the crazies you’d like to see gathering for prayer and celebrating their fine culture 2 blocks from Ground Zero, right? Maybe they could include an outdoor area for stonings, too, complete with a bleacher section.

    Not that you’re even a little bit inconsistent or anything. No wonder nobody takes you seriously.

    • Dawgbowl says:

      ‘Nonymous: Actually no, those are NOT the same crazies. You’re thinking of the crazies in this country who lump everybody together like there’s no differences within individual religions. Those crazies are called “bigots.” But you probably knew that already.

  2. * Rim Shot * says:

    A friend of mine just started his own business, making landmines that look like prayer mats.

    It’s doing well ………. He says Prophets are going through the roof.

  3. Michael Vick says:

    Sunday Stonings, eh? Have your people call my people.

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