Philadelphia, PA — One man put a new twist on bestiality Sunday afternoon when he sexually assaulted a dinosaur – a large, plastic one – in a Chester County park, according to police.
The unidentified man followed two teen girls – 13 and 14 – into Pomeroy Park in Avondale around 4:30 p.m. and first exposed his penis to them before he began “simulating a sexual act with a large plastic dinosaur in the park,” according to a state police news release.
The man, who is described as Hispanic, between 20 and 30 years old and around 5-foot-6 with a goatee, fled the scene on his bicycle, according to police….It was not immediately clear from the release if the dinosaur was a permanent fixture in a play area of the park. – philly.com
- Can it be considered “bestiality” if the sexually assaulted party is 100% inorganic plastic, and only shaped like an animal? If not, how about 50%, as in a horse with four prosthetic legs? How much inorganic material is permitted before the term “bestiality” is appropriate? For extra credit: work Lady Gaga into your answer
- Which political party or individual politician comes to mind when you contemplate the expression, “fucking a dinosaur?” Discuss.
- Is the alleged crime made any better or worse by substituting a different animal, such as a giraffe or wildebeest? What about a Disney character or Teletubby? Does anything change if it’s the Little Mermaid? Explain your reasoning.
- Do you find this line of thought stimulating? If so, report to the nurse (and avoid the locker rooms).
What’s really amazing is, when this weirdo is finally apprehended, he won’t even be embarrassed.