Tough Guy Takes Over

Soon-to-be-Speaker John Boehner broke into tears during his victory address, recalling how he had risen from a low-income childhood mopping the floors of his father’s tavern. “I spent my whole life chasing the American dream,” he said tearily.  — Gail Collins, NY Times

How touching.  Good thing he knows how to wield a mop.

Heads up, Washington!  Look out, world!  There’s a new Speaker in town, and he’s……weepy.  It’s not the first time, either.  The man cries like a teething toddler with a pis-slicked pacifier.

Not that anybody really anticipates that Boner’s takeover signals the start of a new, clean, corruption-free era in the House.  His floor mopping days are behind him. Now he’s one of the most established K Street presences in Congress, a must-know power  broker for any serious player in the Capitol.

[Boner] maintains especially tight ties with a circle of lobbyists and former aides representing some of the nation’s biggest businesses, including Goldman Sachs, Google, Citigroup, R. J. Reynolds, MillerCoors and UPS.

They have contributed hundreds of thousands of dollars to his campaigns, provided him with rides on their corporate jets, socialized with him at luxury golf resorts and waterfront bashes and are now leading fund-raising efforts for his Boehner for Speaker campaign, which is soliciting checks of up to $37,800 each, the maximum allowed.

Some of the lobbyists readily acknowledge routinely seeking his office’s help — calling the congressman and his aides as often as several times a week — to advance their agenda in Washington. And in many cases, Mr. Boehner has helped them out. – NYTimes

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.  Of course, outgoing Speaker Nancy Pelosi never wept in public – maybe she feared her mascara running – but to nobody’s surprise, underneath Boner’s tanning clinic suntan and Pelosi’s face lift their exists the same beast, with the same agenda.  Let the games begin.

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5 Responses to Tough Guy Takes Over

  1. Red White & Blue says:

    Why do you hate America?

  2. Dawgbowl says:

    Democrats are the ones who should be crying. Maybe Boehner is a closet Democrat! Who knew? But with this guy, anything is possible if the right amount of money appears on the table.

  3. Piles says:

    Hey hey hey be nice! He’s just doing his Mama Grizzly act.

  4. ya'gotta'guessit' says:

    Unfortunately, repeated facial “procedures” have resulted in the relocation of Nancy Pelosi’s tear ducts to somewhere very close to the top of her skull.

    But she does cry – it just gets absorbed into the hair extensions, and never reaches the ground – like rain in some Godforsaken desert.

    Of course, her tears are no longer saline, but more closely resemble the mixture of pureed stem cells and ferrets’ blood that have become her sole sustenance.

    And that’s just the *tear ducts* – you’d hate to know what oozes from her other orifices (HINT: that ain’t a mouth, anymore…).

  5. Dawgbowl says:

    Credit the wingnuts for their steady attack on Pelosi, making her the symbol of everything ugly, evil, and wrong. As if there was a “Pelost agenda” other than Obama’s. The ploy worked to perfection — a terrific distraction from the bankrupt Republican strategy of ‘tax cuts for the rich solves everything.’ What will they do once she’s gone. (Assuming she’s gone.)

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