Not news: A 69-year-old woman locks herself in the bathroom. News: She ends up trapped for 20 days … and survives. The Paris woman’s door lock jammed, leaving her stranded with no window or phone and only tap water to subsist on. She tried banging on pipes to get attention, but neighbors thought the noise was construction work—and started a petition against it, the BBC reports. She was rescued, alive but weak, after people who realized they hadn’t seen her in a while alerted authorities. — Newser
“Hey, lemme outta here! Lemme outta here! Lemme outta here or throw me a magazine!” — Groucho, in Duck Soup
Obalesque 
WTF? Obviously she lives alone, so why does she lock the door in the first place? Why even bother to CLOSE the door?
20 days. Somebody call Guinness and find out what the record is.
Oh, right. I call Bullshit. Forget the 20 days — when did the French get indoor plumbing? Bullshit! BULLSHIT!!