Nobody Walks

Florida should sell naming rights to everything from state roads to beaches to help cover its budget shortfall, according to state Rep. Irv Slosberg, D-Boca Raton.  Slosberg’s proposed legislation calls for selling naming rights for state roads and attractions. It also would allow commercial advertising on school buses.

Slosberg envisions Disney World paying for the chance to put its name on Florida’s Turnpike and even adding Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck to the outside of school buses.  “Anything the state of Florida owns that we could possibly sell,” said Slosberg.  – Palm Beach Post

Great concept.  I especially like the idea of Disney characters on school buses, or even the schools themselves.  Come out and own the fact Florida runs a Mickey Mouse educational system.

With corporate logos adorning government buildings, we’d finally admit – in living color –that our legislators, judges, and administrators are not just for sale, but already bought and paid for.  Make it an annual fee, and keep that revenue rolling in!

What a great message to send the nation and the world, let alone our own kids.

In fact, let’s cut to the chase.  Why not put up our elected officials for auction, and sell off the right for them to wear corporate logos while on the job?  I can see everything from discreet lapel pins to NASCAR-driver-like uniforms, emblazoned with dozens of corporate sponsors, clearly identifying who owns their asses, and to whom they owe their allegiance.  FPL, Apslundh, Big Sugar, Lennar Homes, Publix, AutoNation, CSX, Raymond James….wow!  For once we’d have transparency.

I can see the NRA getting in on the action, too, as well as Florida Right to Life.  Also Aryan Nation and the Ku Klux Klan.  These upstate legislators know whose bread to butter.

Rethink this one, Irv.  Maybe it’s true that everything’s for sale, but should it be?  And should government be the broker?

[photo credit]

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3 Responses to Nobody Walks

  1. ya'gotta'guessit says:

    This is just like a Franchulate!

    You should read Neil Stephenson’s “Snow Crash”, squatty.

    I’m really looking forward to becoming a member of “Mr. Lee’s Greater Hong Kong”, with all the rights and privileges thereunto appertaining.

    • Squathole says:

      Stephenson is too far over the line into science fiction for me to get into. I think I remember stumbling through some of his articles for Wired magazine decades ago — that was the old-style “print medium,” Scotty, designed to cause severe eyeball pain — and making a mental note to avoid him in future. Along with William Gibson. I tried. Maybe Guido would go for it, but she’s only about 5/8 through Infinite Jest.

  2. Frank of Oregon says:

    Given the record of commissioners and school board members in south Florida, I bet there are some real bargains in the legislature.

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