Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction is producing special celebration packs that bear the slogan: “Like a royal wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion”.
Critics have dismissed the novelty condoms as “tasteless”. — yahoonews
“Tasteless?” You’re not supposed to eat them. Are you?
I thoroughly enjoy the British, I truly do, but despite decades of digesting reams of their literature, journalism, films, and historical accounts, I just can’t wrap my brain around their bottomless affection for royalty. The best I can come up with is, on the one hand they’re natural born toadies who crave an authority figure to whom they bow and scrape; and on the other they’re rapier-witted cynics who pile on their countrymen and institutions insults and satire, and both royalty their adoring bum-kissers are ideal foils.
The package – the condom’s, not the purchaser’s– depicts the couple, but I don’t know if the actual prophylactic is similarly designed. It would be interesting – and entirely British – if once adorned and oiled for action, the groom’s nose became enlarged along with the wearer’s equipment. But this is doubtful, and in fact, I suspect the condom isn’t being marketed for actual use anyway, but rather as a collector’s item.
Blimey. Who would want it? It IS tasteless. But then, so is royalty.
Gotta love the name “Crown Jewels Condoms,” though.