FORE! (Skinz)

Youch.  Kentucky cops have busted a guy carrying a stash of cocaine under the foreskin of his penis, according to authorities. They became suspicious when they found a small bag of crack tied to the waistband of Antoine Banks’ boxers as they patted him down for processing into jail on yet another drug charge, reports WLKY TV. They discovered a second—small—bag in the unique spot after a strip search. Banks faces more drug charges.—Newser

Bad move, Antoine.  The FIRST place they look is where people like yourself think they never will, because people like THEM know people like YOU better than You know YOURSELF.

And let me guess – they spent at least 10 minutes sticking entire fists and laboratory tools into your asshole, too.  But you’re probably used to that, and maybe at the point where you actually enjoy it.  Hey –– have you considered public office?

Hard (!) as I try, I can’t get my head to accept the line of logic that leads to the idea that stuffing illegal drugs inside my body on the way to jail is a winning strategy.  There simply aren’t any places unknown to the examiners.  They understand human apertures and crevices, from assholes to the wrinkly parts, and take great joy in their detailed examination.

Still, I give the man credit for effort.  The line of thought that connects one’s foreskin, illegal drugs, and legal detention is far from straight and clearly defined, but his innate creativity nicely linked them.  Unfortunately, he isn’t the first.  Even more unfortunately, her won’t be the last.

But let’s push past the obvious.  What you see here in this crime report is exactly what you encounter when you read about a congressman who cheats on his wife, takes a bribe, hides an illegal payment, cooks his books, slips into a men’s room, blares lies on the air, etc.,  It’s a deluded, arrogant  asshat who thinks, for all the wrong reasons, he’s smarter than the rest of us, and can work his way out.

In his own way, Antoine Banks smuggling crack in his foreskin on the way to prison has the same mentality of Bob Ney, Bernie Madoff, Tom DeLay, Mark Foley, Tom Ensign, Rush Limbaugh, etc.  – decadent, immoral criminals who place themselves above the judgment, if not the law, of us common drooling citizen-scum  they sneer at and rape.  Like the biblical poor, they are always among us.  In their own perverted way, they are elitists, self-defined, but elitists in their own twisted minds.

Liberals and better souls than mine find sympathy for them.

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This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to FORE! (Skinz)

  1. Ted Larsen says:

    From foreskins to a cocky political rant, that’s what I call penetrating writing, intercourse worthy of a Pulitzer .

    To read it at 7:30 in the morning is making my stomach queasy, so I’d best get back to my tasty Fromunda cheese and toast.

    • * Rim Shot * says:

      Whoa, Ted. Easy on the pun-ishment.

      Meanwhile I imagine the pre-detention conversation: “There’s crack in his foreskin!” “Well, duct-tape it up!”

  2. Camiel Toe says:

    I once dated a guy so big he had a FIVEskin.

  3. Piles says:

    Interesting take — likening a crack-addicted convict to various public officials, etc. Aren’t you worried that the convict will bring charges of slander?

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