Not much room for editorializing on this one:
Neil Lansing, 33, was charged with drug possession and smuggling contraband in jail for having 30 items tucked up his anus, the Sarasota Herald Tribune reported.
On top of 17 blue pills and a cigarette, Lansing was able to fit six matches, a flint, a syringe, some lip balm, an unused condom and a receipt from CVS just in case he wanted to return some of the items. Deputies also found a coupon. Not sure why he was keeping that, since those things do have an expiration date, but we’d be curious to know what the discount was for.
Lansing allegedly had the items in his anus during the entire time he was before the judge, who sent him to prison. — MSNBC
Ouch! Nasty. But itsounds like Mr. Lansing knew what was coming and prepared himself accordingly. Think about that condom. It suggests he is responsible as a boy scout on the way to national Jamboree (“Be Prepared!”), if not quite, um, prescient. Did he think there wouldn’t be a thorough examination prior to incarceration? Clearly he hasn’t done a (w)hole lot of airplane travel lately.
Or maybe he knew what was in store, and looked forward to the process of forcibly off-loading the cargo. As much fun as it must have been to pack it all in, scooping it all out and inventorying the items sounds like a real party. TSA should have as much entertainment as the penitentiary intake staff. They probably encouraged him to enjoy his last cigarette.
How did he manage to stand still for his sentencing? Do you suppose the judge had any idea he was administering justice to an anus-mule?
Speaking of judges, there’s this controversy heating up about Supreme Court justices sullying their impartiality by actually interacting with real people. This is as bass-ackwards as Mr. Lansing himself. As one commentator notes:
It is absurd for conservatives to criticize the cosmopolitan forums where judges from around the world compare notes. And it is absurd for liberals to criticize the conservative justices for associating with people who share or reinforce their views. The justices are human — and the more we let them be human, the better job they will do. Let the unthinkable be said! If the medieval vestments are making people think the justices should be monks, then maybe, just maybe, we should to do away with those robes.
Okay, it’s a bit of a stretch linking these topics in one post but I’ve spent ‘way too much time these last two weeks on scatological items….even though I suspect Justice Thomas is a natural bridge between the two.