Real American Heroes

Every day you hear the same plaintive wail: Who’s leading America at this time of crisis in our country?  What has happened to our role models, people we can look up to, examples of strength and virtue for our youth?

Here’s just two.  Still, there’ll be more.

The majority leader of the Arizona State Senate scuffled with his girlfriend during an argument on the side of the road late one night recently. He hit her and she hit him, according to the police, but the two suffered dramatically different fates.

The majority leader, Scott Bundgaard, told Phoenix police officers that he was a state senator, and he cited a provision of the Arizona Constitution that gives lawmakers limited immunity from arrest, the police said. Police Department lawyers were consulted, and they ordered that Mr. Bundgaard be uncuffed and released.

Aubry Ballard, Mr. Bundgaard’s girlfriend of about eight months, on the other hand, was arrested for domestic violence and spent the night in jail.  –NYTimes

Pissed off at each other, they leave a party in his Mercedes, leaving a trail down the highway of personal items they flung at each other.  A soon as the cops let him walk (and haul her off in cuffs) he hightails to a PR agent to craft an ass-cover that denies he hit her at all, and claims she was going for a gun – it is Arizona, after all, where more guns in more hands make people safer – which she denies, and wasn’t mentioned in the police report.

Wow, does this stink like sun baked roadkill.

‘Crat lawmakers in Arizona demanded that Bundgaard, a ‘Pub, resign, but that’s laughable.  They didn’t even remove him from his leadership post.  What – just for slapping his bitch around and lying about it afterwards?  She probably deserved it.

Up in frozen New England, we have this eminence grise:

Martin Harty, a 91-year-old freshman state representative has angered [Sharon Omand,] a Dover Community Partners staffer for his comments he doesn’t support state funding for “the crazy people” who should be sent to “Siberia.”  “The world population has gotten too big and the world is being inherited by too many defective people,” he told her.

Omand said she asked him to clarify if he meant mentally ill and developmentally disabled and he responded, “I mean all the defective people, the drug addicts, mentally ill, the retarded — all of them.”

“I asked what we should do with them,” Omand said, and Harty said, “I believe if we had a Siberia we should send them to this and they would all freeze and die and we will be rid of them.”

Harty confirmed his comments in an interview with Foster’s Daily Democrat late Thursday afternoon.  —

The obvious retort, of course, is to suggest that this nonagenarian gasbag of senility be included in the first boatload out.  But the real issue is, Who elected him?  Who in the state of New Hampshire judged him sufficiently competent, informed, and wise to represent the citizenry and lead the state?  What’s the matter with YOU people?

This is no way to treat the aged, the infirm, and the homeless.  Not when there’s a local demand for blood, human organs, and compost, let alone contestants for the next episode of So You Think You Can Manage Eating Utensils.  The good people of the Granite State need to re-examine their priorities.  Remember – these are the chowder-chewers whose quadrennial February presidential primary is considered oracular.  There are credibility issues here.

Besides, we have a Siberia.  It’s called Maine.  The Bush family vacations there.  (Thanks, Thor.)

Anyway, this is just a tiny sampling of the kind of visionary leadership we Americans select for political office.  You’ll find similar stories in every city hall, county commission, and state legislature; no need to comb through Congress for your outrage and amusement.  All politics is both loco and local.

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6 Responses to Real American Heroes

  1. Mumblety Peg says:

    Men are such pigs. I don’t mean you, this time.

  2. Diesel Fitter says:

    I like “So You Think You Can Manage Eating Utensils.” I get the image of some spaz trying to eat soup with a fork and sticking it into his forehead. That would make GREAT tv, especially if the spaz was Snooki.

  3. Dr. Robert Bentley, M.D says:

    Dear Writer: As a New Hampshire practitioner who has spent his entire professional career assisting those with crippling dementia I find your remarks both disgusting and insensitive.

    Instead of mocking Rep. Harty (nonagenarian gasbag of senility), he should be lauded for being an example of what the mentally challenged can do.

    As for “chowder-chewers” let me refresh your knowledge of geography. With only 13 miles of coastline vs. Maine’s 237 there are far more chowder restaurants in the Pine Tree state.

    You might consider spending your time researching facts and practicing compassion than working overtime being a linguistic show off with no feelings for humanity.

    Perhaps you are the one to face Siberian exile. The State of Maine wants nothing to do with you.

    You are the human example of sun baked roadkill.

    • Mister E says:

      He he he, Squathole pisses off yet another member of the medical profession. You go, Doc.

    • Squathole says:

      Thank you, “Dr.” Bentley, “M.D.,” for your profound insights and clever regurgitations. Until now I never appreciated that dementia was contagious.

      • Dr. Robert Bentley, M.D says:

        Yes, and it saddens me that you are showing the first signs.

        I’d be happy to perform a post-natal abortion on you at a time and place of your choosing.

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