Ka-Ching

Outraged over skyrocketing salaries, benefits, and pension payments to those lazy, government drone union socialists who have been holding taxpayers hostage for decades?  Here’s management’s response:

Former county manager George Burgess, who stepped down Thursday, will get hundreds of thousands of dollars in severance, health insurance, and monthly expenses, under his employment contract.

Burgess…will be paid severance of one year of base salary, $326,340, plus deferred compensation of $22,000.  The 52-year-old career bureaucrat and his family will get medical and dental coverage until he’s 65 years old….Unused sick time of about $79,892 and accumulated vacation pay of about $78,777 will be included in his next paycheck, according to the county human resources director Mary Lou Rizzo.

During the one-year severance period… he will also get an expense allowance of $3,000 a month and a car allowance of $600 a month. And he will get an annual sum of $10,000 in executive benefits, paid out biweekly over the coming year. For 2012, he’s entitled to one final $8,000 payment to cover the premiums on a life insurance policy and a disability policy; he’s already gotten that annual payment for 2011. — Miami Hurled

Keep in mind Burgess resigned after his boss, County Manager Carlos Alvarez, had his ass recalled by a margin of 9-1 in a special election.  Georgie no like-um that outcome, saying the recall election was “ill-advised.”  In his resignation letter, he claims that during his 8-year tenure Miami-Dade County has become a “model urban government,” adding

A large workload is being handled by a smaller staff — this is a provable fact.  Our finances are strong and our budgets conservative — this is a provable fact.

(Note: quotations from print edition of today’s Miami Hurled.  Apparently the article was not posted on-line.)

Leaving aside what sounds like typical fabulistic crap from out-of-touch, self-promoting arrogant bureaucrats, let’s examine the locution “provable fact,” and what it says about its creator.  What is a “provable fact”?  Is it to be contrasted with a non-provable fact?  Or perhaps a provable fiction?  Obviously — well, to reasonably competent speakers of the language, anyway — these last two are self-contradictory, which suggests the expression “provable fact” is tautological or redundant.

But this is what bloviators of Burgess’s liver and lights spew all the time, their pomposity exceeded only by their arrogance and greed.  We are fools to put up with it, or pay for it, let alone getting raped for it even after he waddles off into the sunset.

As a tribute to the dear departing bureaucrat, I plan to incorporate the term “Burgessian provable fact” when blogging to highlight the absurdity of various sneer-worthy claims that pop up with frightening frequency in public discourse.  It’s the best I can do to keep alive the memory of a first-class trough-diver, if only a tiny return on our ongoing investment.

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One Response to Ka-Ching

  1. Miami Harold says:

    Your mentor HL Mencken would be proud.
    Recall his fondness for President Warren G. Harding’s gassy, bloated prose,
    and his name for it: Gamalielese, after Harding’s middle name.

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