The president-elect of the American College of Surgeons resigned his position Sunday after weeks of controversy surrounding a Valentine’s Day editorial he wrote touting the mood-enhancing effects of semen on women during unprotected sex.
The editorial cited research that found that female college students who had had unprotected sex were less depressed than those whose partners used condoms. It speculated that compounds in semen have antidepressant effects.
“So there’s a deeper bond between men and women than St. Valentine would have suspected, and now we know there’s a better gift for that day than chocolates,” it concluded. — NYTimes
“If you wanna make her happy, don’t roll on the wrappy.” — ”Blind Mule” Johnson
What’s interesting here is that the controversy exists entirely independent of the actual content of the study. Whether or not a splooge-soaked snatch elevates the mood of the recipient, just suggesting as much is so politically abhorrent — especially in this day and age of abstinence and safe sex — that this doctor has to go.
“Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.” —
Orson Bean Ogden Nash
By now, most civilized human beings understand that the male ejaculate brims with wonderful, life-affirming chemicals and particles, which when introduced to the sexual partner performs wonders in terms of mood, health, and well-being. A full-blast facial smoothes wrinkles, clears zits, and produces a life-enhanced glow. Ingested orally, it reduces cholesterol, soothes digestion, and facilitates the metabolic process. Vaginally, of course, it creates life and inspires multiple orgasms. Anally, it sells porn. (Sorry. Best I can do.)
So this poor professor poses his theory and makes a little joke about it, and the forces of academia sweep him away like a puritan tsunami. Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse Me. You’d suppose by now this sort of speculation would be received open-minded and warmly, but the temptation to wrap oneself in the Cloak of Offended Victimhood remains too strong to resist in certain rarified atmospheres.
It’s sad, it’s wrong, it’s outrageous. Personally, I’ll not stand for it. A man’s reputation is at stake, and there’s a whole lot of further research needed here. I sent in my resume. I’m here to help.