That’s transliterated Cockney for the punch line of the old joke: What are the most commonly-uttered last words by a redneck? “Hey fellers! Watch this!”
A 23-year-old British stuntman was killed after a safety net failed during his “human cannonball” routine at an Easter Monday daredevil show in southern England.
Hundreds of people at the Kent County Showground in Detling watched on as the man plunged to the ground after being fired around 40 feet (12 meters) into the air.
“The last picture I’ve got of him, you can see the net is flat on the floor,” eye-witness Rob Hutchinson said. “It’s not up in the air, and he is coming down head-first towards the ground. I saw him hit the floor and bounce.
“It was deathly silent,” he added. “That’s when the announcer said, there’s been a bit of an accident.” — HeraldSun
Ugh. That must have left a mark. Or at least a puddle.
I love the “bit of an accident” commentary. A spot of unpleasantness. A bothersome setback to the afternoon’s festivities, but they’ll carry on. Right after mopping up.
Do you suppose that kids in the crowd were puzzled to discover that there’s no reset button in real life, and, unlike their assorted play stations and telephone apps, a dead stuntman stays dead? That was a real live death that unfolded out there for their amusement.
I don’t mean to be callous, but it strikes me that if you make your living having your ass blasted out of large guns like this, there’s a reason you pay a high insurance premium. Like tightrope walkers, stunt motorcyclists, and those maniacs who juggle chainsaws, you’re daring the fates who have scores to settle and nothing to lose.
And ferchrissake, what does this have to do with Easter? Happy Holiday, Citizens! No scourging or crucifixions this morning, but we have this fellow to shoot from a cannon instead. Clear the courtyard, please. It might get messy. Next, head over to the senior citizens’ tent for the Bobbing for Oxygen contest, brought to you by the National Health.
Sometimes I think if Jesus has known what was coming he’d have stayed in that cave.