Duck!

A Philadelphia woman who said she was molested by an employee dressed as Donald Duck while at Walt Disney World in 2008 has settled her lawsuit with the theme park company.

April Magolon sued Disney for more than $50,000 … over a “ruined vacation” after a visit to the Epcot Center in Florida, where she claims an employee dressed as Donald Duck grabbed her breast when she approached him for an autograph while holding her young child.

The incident is not the first time one of Disney’s theme park characters has had a brush with the law.  In 2004, an employee dressed as Tigger made national headlines over allegations he fondled a 13-year-old.

The employee was later acquitted by a Florida jury but landed in more trouble months later when police alleged he shoved two photographers while working as Goofy.  —  [Via]

Anybody who has ever spent more than 10 minutes in one of those Orlando hellholes theme parks should understand why the employees dressed in stifling costumes, beset by sticky-fingered screaming human larvae might lose it once in a while.  I’d be grabbing tits for sure, if not smuggling in automatic weapons.  The only surprise is that incidents like this don’t happen more often.

It reminds me of an incident wrapped around a joke — and stop me if I’ve told this before.

Years ago I worked with a crew of young people among whom was a lad from South Africa.  At our office party one Christmas, one of the other employees told the old joke about Mickey wanting a divorce from Minnie.  You know — the Judge says “I don’t see why after all these years you’d want to leave her because she’s acting a little strange,” and Mickey replies. “I didn’t say she was acting a little strange, Your Honor, I said she was fucking Goofy.”

The South African, lacking any knowledge of Disney characters, required a lengthy explanation.  Finally he got it.  Then, many drinks later and with new people in the crowd, we asked him to tell the new joke he learned.  Gamely he got through it, until the punch line: ““I didn’t say she was acting a little strange, Your Honor, I said she was fucking Pluto!”

We never let him forget it.  Damn — I never did.

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3 Responses to Duck!

  1. "Esq." A Lawyer says:

    Next, teach him about Little Jack Horner thumbing his pie and the Baker Act.

  2. Joe Balls says:

    It sounds to me like Donald Duck has the right stuff to lead the International Monetary Fund and run for President of France!
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2011/may/16/dominique-strauss-kahn-french-presidential-video?intcmp=239

  3. Odtley says:

    this is no joke really because some of these little kids dont know thar when they see goofy mickey and guano theyre not really who they look like but real people inside costumes so they might get totally freaked when one grabs their moms ass or breast and mom freaks out or worse suppose she actually likes it and the kid gets all confused and grows up to be a rapist or pervert or member of the florida legislature or something rgar gross.

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