Warning Shot

Where do I sign up?

Tucson, AZ. – Simmering frustration among Latino voters has prompted a tea party-style endeavor that’s intended to boost the political influence of America’s fastest-growing minority group.

“We want to motivate Latinos to vote,” says Belinda “DeeDee” Blase, spokeswoman for the fledgling National Tequila Party Movement, which has adopted a nonpartisan stance. “[Democrats and Republicans] don’t take us seriously because we don’t vote consistently.”

Through rallies and concerts in at least 20 states, the group wants to mobilize Latinos to vote in record-breaking numbers in the 2012 election. The idea is to issue a wake-up call to both parties  — Democrats for taking the Latino vote for granted and Republicans for pushing policies that adversely affect the Hispanic community. — Yahoo News  

Aaaah.  The smell of disillusioned minorities in the air, this time flavored with cilantro and blue agave.  The brotherhood of the pissed off and fed up.  It’s Us against Them, if only  we could unify Us as solidly as the way Them thinks about Us.

Taken at face value, a national get-out-the-vote effort aimed at, well, anybody (or everybody) sounds harmless enough.  It is axiomatic that in a democracy, the government depends on the support of the governed, and that support is made manifest by the electorate’s voting.  So we want people to vote, right?  The more the better, as a heavy voter turnout more clearly and definitively expresses the will of the people.

You and Toto really miss, Kansas, don’t you Dorothy

Iin the real world, political operatives understand that most voters are malleable ignoramuses, prone to emotional impulses, poorly informed, and potentially dangerous.  H.L. Mencken used to marvel at the glories of a system where a professor’s vote counts the same as a flat earther’s, and the uneducated outnumber the educated 10:1.  Today, the votes of nimrods carrying signs with slogans like “God Loves Dead Soldiers” and “Keep Your Government Hands Off My Medicare” count exactly the same as yours and mine.  Sure, it’s their right to vote, but do you want them to?  As my mother used to say when us kids didn’t clean up after lunch: “Flies gotta eat, but don’t feed ‘em!”

It’s nice to talk about Latino Power, but how cohesive a voting block is this, really?  Do the Miami Cubans share the same world view, values, and interests as, say, California Mexicans?  New York Puerto Ricans?  Do recent poverty-level immigrants fleeing narco-terrorism in Mexico and South America have much in common with middle class, 4th generation  establishment Latinos who barely know Guyana from Ghana?  Wouldn’t they find themselves on the opposite ends of many issues, and vote against one another’s candidates?

Of course they would.  So why would one side encourage the other to vote at all?  Because of some idealistic equation summed up by the expression “Latin Power”?  Some ethnic appeal that barely runs skin deep?

But set the details aside.  “The Tequila Party” — NOW we’re talking.  At least they got the marketing and slogans lined up.  Content will follow, followed by fights.  Meanwhile, count me in, amigos!  Wait, let me grab some lime.

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5 Responses to Warning Shot

  1. Don Queero says:

    You have the gall to use a Romanian poster in a discussion of the sacred nectar of our people.

    You got some ‘splanin’ to do Obalucy!!!!

  2. themasspube says:

    Yes, all Latinos are the same. A cosmopolitan Peruvian lawyer and a Mexican from Tijuana working in a strawberry field think exactly alike and they both enjoy swigging Tequila the minute the lunch whistle blows. They’re like Jews and Mogen David…just can’t get enough of that sugar crisp. Oh, by the way, they’re right about the Jews all being cheap. House Whip Eric Kantor just proved that as he won’t even send federal money to Joplin, Missouri, but I betcha he’s first in line to send a bunch to Israel. He’s a prick, but circumsized.

  3. Hose B says:

    You mention an inconvenient truth — there term “Latino” or “Hispanic” doesn’t describe much, and it doesn’t describe the same thing in people it’s used to describe. It’s even looser than “European” or “white.” Why should Chileans have very much in common with Costa Ricans any more than Estonians have in common with Sicilians?

    Most of my family is of Spanish origin, and I’ve lived in many different Spanish-speaking countries (and others as well). They are not one people. Their prejudices against each other are every bit as bad as the racism one hears daily in the US between white and black. I grew up listening to this kind of hatred in my own family, between in-laws and cousins!

    Damn. Some of us don’t even drink tequila, either.

  4. Hugh Bris says:

    If I read this right, it’s an elitist diatribe against people too stupid to vote the way you think they should, and a smirky aside that as soon as Latin voters start voting, they’ll just vote against each other anyway so why bother.

    • Squathole says:

      You read it wrong, Hugh, but you’re quite the expert in that department. And the “smirky aside” you mention could be directed against any so-called voting-bloc whatsoever — Catholics, Blacks, unions — who, one might argue after some research, are more homogeneous that what is considered the Latin voting bloc.

      As for stupid people, yes, they — you, me — vote early andf often. Looked around lately at the result?

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