These Fish Stink

By now you’ve read that Marlins’ manager Eddie Rodriguez has cried No Mas and deserted the team.  (The Marlins fired the batting coach about a dozen losses ago.)  They’re almost 0 for June (1-17) and the month has 10 days to go.

The Marlins are not as bad as they’re playing now, and they aren’t as good as they were playing when they had the 2nd best record in the NL.  They’re about a .500 team with some legitimate stars (Hanley Rodriguez, Mike Stanton, Josh Johnson) and some decent players, many very young and inexperienced which makes them energetic, exciting to watch, and vulnerable to mistakes.  There’s no question that a shortage of mature, grizzled, and scarred veterans on the squad has fed the frustration of losing, and robbed them of a perspective with which to deal with this kind of adversity.

As for the ex-Manager, he is liked and respected by the players, but is himself a career minor leaguer who admitted he tried everything he could think of and nothing worked.  He was gone at the end of the year anyway because the Marlins wanted a big-name high profile manager to go with their new stadium in 2012.  They’re thinking Ozzie Guillen, a former Marlins coach and a Latin local.

This season is over, but nobody who understands baseball seriously expected it to go far anyway.  Still, they need a manager, and the talk is all about……Jack McKeon.  Now 80, Trader Jack took over the Marlins’ 2003 season in mid-year and piloted them from a sub-.500 record to a World Series.  He’s already on the payroll in some honorary position, and told the media he could do it if they asked him, but he’d have to check with his wife.

As an octogenarian veteran and honored team celebrity, would they give him a special uniform?  “Depends,” he said.

Whew.  He’ll need ‘em.

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10 Responses to These Fish Stink

  1. Lu Senz says:

    Good analysis. I’d like to think Rodriguez did this selflessly, falling on his own sword as a last-ditch tactic to turn things around, but let’s face it: managing this team in this town with this ownership group is a fool’s errand.

    Most of us have known the real deal here for years: the team gets their taxpayer-financed stadium, works up some good first-year attendance figures, spends a little more money (including some for a name-brand manager), then sells the franchise for an enormous profit.

    And you know, at that point, depending on who takes over, I might just start liking them again.

  2. The Fishmonger says:

    Ok, from experiance I know a few things that smell like dead fish. Pussy, dead fish, and oh yeah, the Marlins. They couldnt fill the old stadium much less the new stadium! I have seen coupons for buy 1 get 1 free for Marlins games. Excludes the Reds, Cubs, Mets, and the Phillies. So there is no reason to go to the Marlins games at all then! Besides that, parking is probably more than the ticket to get into the park to see the game!

  3. The Fishmonger says:

    Lu, isnt that what Wayne “Hypinga” did when the team was first created?

    • Lu Senz says:

      Fishmonger: In some ways what Wayne did was much worse. He sold the team off piece by piece, a player at a time, at fire sale prices, and left behind a smoking carcass that he sold at a price to ensure no loss. It’s too bad, because until that point he gave every indication of being the kind of owner who was willing to invest in the team. But he warned us when he got involved: if he couldn’t realize a certain level of return, he would step away. And he did just that, although most observers figure he handled it as badly as it could be handled.

      The current ownership isn’t interested in anything else but making money. They prove this with their actions even as they lie lie lie to the media. They were caught and admonished by MLB, and their books, exposed against their will, proved the extent of their deceptions.

      I truly believe that a baseball franchise could make it in south Florida, but I’m confident that the combination of ownership, management, marketing, and community relations needed isn’t to be found locally.

  4. Tootsie's Manager says:

    I think I can help the Fish ah Marlins with their attendence problem. How is this for a business proposition. Girls selling the beer in the stands. Good looking girls. Like we have at Tootsie’s. All home games on Tuesdays would be Titty Tuesday. And all home games on Thursdays are now Thong Thursdays. You would have men leaving work to fill the seats and maybe even a lap dance?

    • Teal There Was You says:

      These are excellent suggestions for many good reasons. It would boost attendance, and nobody would care how bad they were playing. Brilliant!

  5. Teal Thru and Thru says:

    Why do you hate Miami?

  6. NicFitKid says:

    So do those depends come with jock strap, or is that extra? Safety first!

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