Becker De-Peckered

We haven’t had one of these “Gentle Gender” tales for a while.

Orange County, CA —   A woman was in custody Tuesday for allegedly poisoning her estranged husband, cutting off his penis with a 10-inch kitchen knife and throwing [the penis] in the garbage disposal.

Catherine Kieu Becker, 48, was booked for aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, administering a drug with intent to commit a felony, poisoning, and spousal abuse.

Investigators said she tied him to the bed after he fell asleep. When he awoke, the woman grabbed his penis and cut it off with a 10-inch kitchen knife, according to police. She then threw it in the garbage disposal and turned on the disposal, police said.

“The suspect called 911 and told responding officers that he ‘deserved it’,” [authorities] said. — msnbc

Study Questions

1.  Isn’t love grand?  Discuss.

2.  Suppose you are the public defender selected to represent Mrs. Becker.  Construct a defense that the sex was consensual — that Mr. Becker wanted drugs, bondage, and threats with a knife, but that in the moment of passion it just went too far.  Now shop this account around on appropriate Internet sites and see what you can get for it.  I want half.

3.  What is the strangest thing you’ve ever put in a garbage disposal?  Include anything still living or attached to something still living.  Did you ever need to concoct a cover story for the plumber called out to unclog your sink?  Did that plumber wear pants which exposed his butt crack?

4.  If “aggravated mayhem” is a crime in California, why was Jerry “Moonbeam” Brown elected for yet another term?

5.  Is there any chance this attack on the husband’s package was fueled by the attacker’s onset of menopause?   Is there any doubt that if this possibility is entertained there will be screams of protest by Birkenstocked feminists from coast to coast?

6.  Is this the worst set of study questions you’ve ever read?  Hey — it’s summer school!  Lighten up!

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3 Responses to Becker De-Peckered

  1. NicFitKid says:

    1. No.

    2. He forgot the safe word.

    3. I tried to grind up some chicken bones in the disposal when I was a kid. The folks were not too pleased, but no plumber involved, as we were mostly DIY people.

    4. I don’t know, but its a great excuse to listen to The Dead Kennedys’ first version of California Uber Alles again: “I am Governor Jerry Brown / My aura smiles and never frowns.”

    5. Any stage of life is a good time for an old fashioned penis removal. Lorena Bobbitt was in her twenties when she dismembered her way to fame.

    6. Probably. Also, I’ll need some credit-hours for my work.

  2. Ruh Roh says:

    Headline: “Circumcision attempt goes willy nilly.”

  3. Mister E says:

    It’s hard (sorry) to believe that once upon a time this couple clasped hands and pledged eternal love and respect. Okay, we know that about half the marriages in this country end in failure, but failure isn’t the same as mayhem.

    All this by way of answering Q5 above — if menopause played no part in Mrs. Becker’s campaign, I’ll kiss Mumblety Peg’s ass at high noon in Bicentennial Park.

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