Stop this in its tracks, do you hear me? Shut this down!
Ahhh, beer! While it welcomes all who’d care to bask in its golden glow, beer is still widely perceived to be the beverage of choice for men, be they sweaty, knuckle-dragging cro-magnons, pompous hops-huffing hobbyists or pop-collared frat brothers.
But Molson Coors is aiming at attracting more females to the keg party by launching a new line of brews tailored specifically to women….According to the UK’s Marketing Magazine, Molson Coors’ Animee will be a “less gassy and lighter tasting” alternative to conventional beers. After two-and-a-half years of researching “women’s relationship with beer,” the American brewery will be releasing Animee – which will come in three versions (standard, rose and citrus) – in the UK later this summer.
What say you, ladies? Would you be more inclined to drink a beer that appealed to your feminine sensibilities? Or is the notion that a beer has to be girlified before a woman will consider it insulting? — bites.today.com
Has anybody noticed that (a) men and women are very different, but (2) what they’re different about is different, too; that they’re different in different ways, so (iii) any generalization about differences between men and women is no more or less precise than the huge number and degree of differences between them, so (IV) basing any Grand Universal and Eternal Truth on such bedrock faith about their clear differences is futile and insulting?
But I’m being dense again because the point of this campaign has nothing to do with Grand Universal and Eternal Truth. It’s all about marketing. As in, selling fucking beer. And launching an idiotic campaign like this is just another commercial, using provocative subject matter instead of long thighs and big tits. (Which I’d prefer, Duh.)
So, yeah –there are some women out there who prefer their beer to be as flowery, tasteless, light, and un-beerlike as those cigarettes branded for them like Eve, Benson & Hedges Silver, or Virginia Slims. These women are better known by the label, “Wine Drinkers.” Keep them no closer than waist high from me.
For that matter, I know men who actually enjoy beer that tastes likes wheat, blueberry, and fruit punch. Mostly Belgians and other lesser species, they enjoy beer that tastes like powdered ass, and would be as happy sipping chilled rose and citrus Animee beer as the undicked market the product targets.
The point is larger than so-called “girlified” beer. It’s that we share this planet with creatures bearing all the same characteristics of human beings save their incapacity to recognize that beer shouldn’t taste like a perfumed armpit, and that these humanoid mutants, appealing to greed and the lowest common denominator, have wormed their way into the hallowed temples known as breweries.
I don’t give a damn which rest room you prefer. Keep your lime, orange slices, and rose petals out of my sight, and away from my beer.