Dunkin Hinds?

ROCKAWAY TOWNSHIP, N.J. — Police say there was more on the menu than coffee and doughnuts during the late shift at a Dunkin’ Donuts in northern New Jersey.   

Melissa Redmond, 29, of Mine Hill, N.J., faces prostitution charges after police say she took breaks to provide sex in exchange for money.

Rockaway Township police launched an investigation known as “extra sugar” after getting an anonymous tip about the worker’s activities, …..[On the 9pm – 5am shift], Redmond would go out to cars and would spend 10 to 15 minutes in the vehicles ([police alleged].

Redmond was arrested after soliciting sex from an undercover officer who first inquired about her services at the drive-thru window. —  msnbc.com

More like extra cream than extra sugar.

Note how she seemed to be doing this on her breaks, although the statement is ambiguous.  If so, this was very conscientious of her, making sure her employer’s revenue was not compromised.  In fact, my guess is that as word got out, business picked up during the night shift.  She was running her own stimulus program.

Coffee tea or me?

I remember a small town diner in a fishing village where off-season business dropped off like seniors in a Florida  ALF.  So one of the wait staff changes the parking lot marquis to read “Coffee $1.00  Pot Roast Special  $4.99  Hand Jobs  $10.”

A few days later an old fisherman walks in, sits down at the empty counter and sizes up the buxom waitress.  “I guess it’s you who’s offering the $10 hand jobs, am I right?”

She gives him a big dirty smile.

“Fine.  Well wash ‘em up real good willya, before you bring me the pot roast special.”

Okay that wasn’t real funny but then this weekend was a drag from the moment I got up on Saturday morning, featuring such treats as bloody surgery, a leaky roof, a non-functioning emergency generator, and cat shit in strange unwelcome places including under my bare feet and up on the (leaky) roof.   And did I mention that because I’m on antibiotics for 5 days I can’t drink?  Nasty ones too: Cipro, of anti-anthrax fame.

Maybe I’ll get around to that later.  Meanwhile, like the Rockaway police, I’ll have to settle for a flying fuck at a rolling donut.

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4 Responses to Dunkin Hinds?

  1. I she gave blowjobs, she’d qualify as a “Munchkin With Benefits.”

  2. Ruh Roh says:

    Poor baby…..but here’s good news. If you mash up that Cipro tablet and pour the contents into a blender with Jack Daniels, ice, and any mixer you prefer (I like ginger ale; many prefer Coke), the antibiotic will get into your bloodstream faster and you’ll get nicely buzzed, too.

  3. Camiel Toe says:

    It’s a classic case of the hooker taking the weight here. Obviously she was doing this with the DD’s manager covering for her in return for a cut of the proceeds. But she can’t prove it and nobody will believe her, so she gets arrested and fired, the cops get a nice mention in the community paper, and the manager pockets his profits and hires somebody else.

  4. julesagray says:

    Ten bucks for a hand job? Hey, it’s a job, right?

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