Wrinkle It

If this shock to the nation’s economic engine doesn’t cause a double-dip recession, nothing will.

The porn industry in California has been plunged into a serious crisis after one actor tested HIV positive. Some companies have suspended production, while there have been calls for closer oversight of the industry situated in the San Fernando Valley in NorthWest Los Angeles. Concern is centered on the nonuse of condoms.

The HIV positive discovery was made at the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation, AIM, a clinic that carries out mandatory testing for about 1,200 porn actors in the valley every month. The clinic has refused to reveal the gender of the performer or which studio he or she worked for, but it has started to track down all other actors known to have been exposed and is now quarantining them until they can also be tested.

As many as four major studios have temporarily suspended filming. — medIndia.net

I make a phone call to a guy I know in the business, who, when he’s working in drag, goes by the name Red Snapper.

“Yep.  This is bad,” he confirms.  “But the real wonder is why it hasn’t happened before this.”

So what happens now?  A porn shortage?

“Don’t laugh.  The thing about porn is, because there’s so much of it out there you probably think  the supply is endless, and in a way it is.  But because there’s so much, and because of the nature of the product, it has a very short shelf life.”

Uh-huh-huh.  You said, “endless.”

“See, people get tired of seeing the same actors doing the same shit over and over.  They want to see something new every time.  What gets ‘em greasin’ the gopher off at 10 in the morning sitting in the office doesn’t inspire ‘em to stroke the stalk at 10 at night back in their living rooms.  That’s just how it works.”

Eloquently phrased, Red.  So what happens next?  Condoms?

“Nah, never happen.  The market won’t support that.  People want to see flesh, and they want to see the splooge  squirt.”

Even if it means spreading fatal diseases?

“Porn watchers don’t give a damn how dangerous it is, and they sure as hell don’t give a damn if the actors disappear or die horribly — they’re always looking down the road to the next one out of the chute.  Younger, bigger tits, longer legs, wider bung hole.  There’s no empathy between the customer and the provider in the porn biz.”


“Hey, it’s a job.  You think I like shaving my legs and gluing on a wig every Saturday night?  But the fact is I make more on the stage in drag than I do as a uniformed cop in a squad car, and I got bills to pay.  Gotta go.”

Good old Red.  You know the joke, right?  A call girl goes out on a fishing boat with a party of old pros……they come back with nothing in their nets, but she’s the one with the red snapper.   That’s Red.

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Wrinkle It

  1. Mumblety Peg says:

    Men are such pigs.

  2. Neil, a Christian Soul says:

    It’s not coincidental that these fallen souls have been stricken with a fatal disease at the same time a rare earthquake and unusual hurricane strike the east coast. These are all messages from God that only sinners and fools would ignore. Pornography, abortion, homosexuality, all of these are affronts to the Lord. The choice is yours: Clean up your act, or go to hell.

  3. Flaming Yon says:

    I agree with Red…it’s very surprising this doesn’t happen more often especially with gay porn stars. Actually I suspect it DOES happen and it’s kept hushed up. Many porn stars just vanish from the scene after short careers, and while that could be for any number of reasons, I always suspected HIV and STDs had a lot to do with it,

  4. julesagray says:

    never thought I’d see the word ‘splooge’ in an interview.
    “Nah, never happen. The market won’t support that. People want to see flesh, and they want to see the splooge squirt.”

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