Gourmet Dogs

… or, Dogs Eat Man:

Seven dogs starved of food and water for two weeks are suspected of eating their Indonesian owner after he returned to his hometown in Manado from a holiday.

A neighborhood guard was curious when he saw luggage lined up at the front of Andre Lumboga’s house, days after the 50-year old arrived back home. He approached the house, smelled something foul and called the police, according to a report.

“His skull was found in the kitchen, and his body was found in the front of his house,” Eriyana, a local police chief in Batam, an island off Sumatra, told VIVAnews website.  “We suspect that the dogs were hungry, so they attacked Andre, because they had not been fed for 14 days,” he said.  Police also found bones of two other dogs, believed to have also been eaten by the hungry canines. — Reuters

“Honey, I’m home! — Hey!!

Who’s surprised that dogs like Asian cuisine?  Man’s Best Friend = Dog’s Favorite Snack.

From this account, it sounds like the big starving dogs first ate the smaller ones — two of them.  That suggests that the remaining seven kept a wary eye on one another for a few days.  It’s a jungle in there.  Dog Eat Dog.

I also wonder what the hell Andre — that’s Indonesian for “Lunch” — was thinking about by (a) keeping 9 dogs in his house, and (b) leaving them unattended for a couple of weeks.  Goldfish don’t survive that kind of neglect, let alone dogs.

The dogs’ conduct doesn’t strike me as either evil or unexpected.  Animals need to eat, and starvation is a game-changer.  Even though their motivation for attacking, tearing apart, and devouring their asshat owner was hunger, not fury, they were well within their rights, and would have been even if they weren’t starving.

I’m no “dog person,” but I state this with conviction.  I favor cats, and in my household, said felines outnumber canines 5:1, although the weight is about equally distributed.  If Guido and I were stupid enough to leave all six beasts to their own devices for two weeks, there’s no doubt the cats would prevail easily, first happily eating the dog, then whatever else they could find and tear apart, and finally ordering in pizzas and Chinese food.  Cats are survivors.   Trust me when I tell you that when we returned home, they’d have their revenge.  Right after they ate.

Bottom Line:  Both Andre and his dogs got their just desserts.

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2 Responses to Gourmet Dogs

  1. Remember Indonesia sells tasty human flavored doggie food. They had already acquired the taste.

    It’d resembles chicken

  2. Dawgbowl says:

    What happens to those dogs now? Would anybody feel comfortable around them any more? They’re goners.

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