Saddened that Sarah Palin won’t be around anymore to amuse you? Well, just in time, here comes the Phelps family. Why, it’s a godsend!
Westboro Baptist Church announced plans Wednesday night to protest Steve Jobs’s funeral, sending the message out. . . . via Twitter for iPhone.
Margie Phelps, daughter of the small church’s founder and the lawyer who represented the church during their First Amendment case at the Supreme Court, (which Westboro won,) was among the Phelps family members to use Apple products to Tweet about the death of the Apple co-founder. “Westboro will picket his funeral. He had a huge platform; gave God no glory & taught sin,” Margie tweeted Wednesday night on her iPhone.
The Topeka, Kan. based church is mostly made up of Phelps family members but has risen to international infamy because of their funeral protests of celebrities and American soldiers. The church’s members believe that God punishes America for its tolerance of sin, including acceptance of homosexuality. — Washington Post
Jobs “gave God no glory & taught sin,” she says. Yes, that seems like sufficient reason to go make complete nuisances of yourself and earn the contempt of a entire nation. These sanctimonious shitheads are the Donald Trump of the chancel-prancing homophobe set. They’ll say literally anything to focus attention on themselves, to what end remains mysterious.
The irony of their use of Apple products to get their message out seems not to perturb them in the least. There’s a joke lurking here about a return match between the Apple and the snake, but I can’t coax it out. Help me if you can.
If their goal is some kind of martyrdom, I’m certain that a posse of assassins could be rounded up in no time, willing to accommodate . Bloody crucifixion would be delightfully poetic, streamed live, preserved on YouTube, and sponsored by iPhone5. A happy ending for them, and a return to sanity for us. Win win for everyone, as the redundancy has it.
And a pleasant thought to kick off the weekend, too.