Iran: I Quit!

Iran’s top cop has offered to quit his job if anyone verifies the results of a recent survey that says 80% of Iranian students drink alcohol and have friendships with the opposite sex, the semi-official Iranian Labour News Agency reported.

“These findings have no basis and if such things are true, I will resign from my post,” Ahmadi Moghadam said, according to ILNA.

Drinking alcohol and relations between men and women who are not related are forbidden in Iran and other conservative Muslim countries. — CNN

Clean out your desk, Ahmadi.  Unless the survey was conducted among elementary school students,  the only way that number is off is if it’s low.

The other thing you should know is that a sizeable portion of that population behaves this way for the sole reason that they’re not supposed to.  Which means that once word of your announcement gets around, if you take a second poll the number will be 90%.

Why do you suppose he’s so certain the findings are wrong?  Because he has hard evidence to the contrary?  Because he’s so close and knows his people so well?  Or maybe he’s just so committed to his own faith and ideology that he believes what makes him happiest?  Think Queen Victoria, so horrified at the thought of male/male sex that she ordered it banned, but said nothing about women because “such things are too disgusting to even conceive of.”

(Okay.  That never really happened.  Cool myth, though.)

While we’re at it, what’s the point of his resignation?  How does that change a damn thing?  Are kids going to stop drinking because the top cop quit?   Heh.  If that actually works, they should propose the entire hierarchy of snarling priests and corrupt political leaders make the same swap — quit if the kids will stop talking to the opposite gender, watch teevee, spit in the street, slash throats, whatever.

In fact, we should try that here.  I wonder how many Americans drink to forget about how rotten the government is and how bad things have become.  (I don’t myself, but I sure would if invited.)  Suppose the President and every member of Congress offered to quit if we stopped — would the fruited plains swarm with hordes of teetotalers overnight?  There’s an image.

Ahmadi Quit for Your Sins.”  Not quite the stuff of cults, but it’s a start.

………..Thanks for the lead, Thor!

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Iran: I Quit!

  1. Lois Terms says:

    It can’t happen here. But it won’t happen there, either. He won’t quit.

  2. Ruh Roh says:

    This guy sounds like the Nick Navarro of Iran. It’s soothing to see that political grandstanding by the police isn’t an exclusive American irritation.

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