Hold The Line

Anybody recognize this?  Here’s a hint: it’s considered art.

I was on the phone with AT&T and AT&T U-Verse from about 12:45 to 3 PM yesterday when all of a sudden my cell phone lost contact with my BellSouth email account.  I couldn’t get it back, and 20 minutes on-line looking for a fix got me nowhere, so I called.  The first agent was useless and turned me over to a second agent who was uelesser, and while waiting on HOLD for her dumb ass to get back a third agent picked up who had no idea I was already allegedly being helped so we started over.

And that’s where it spins out of control.

She has me go into Settings and change them.  I ask why — what happened that the settings that have been working flawlessly for months don’t work anymore.  She tells me over the weekend there had been some upgrades, requiring certain users to recalibrate.

Alright, I say, reasonably enough.  If that’s the reason, why wouldn’t AT&T — a fucking communications company, ferchrissake —  send out an email or a text message alerting its customers to this eventuality, provide the codes needed to avoid service interruption, and give us a link and a phone number to call in case further help is needed?  Instead, you have delaminated customers  calling in and wasting not only their own time but yours, which means the company’s.

“No argument,” she says.  “But here at AT&T we think business should run more like a government.”

Actually she didn’t say that (it occurred to me later) and besides, government wouldn’t even provide the help she was giving me — I’d probably be arrested or fined or have to fill out one of those 15-page PDF forms you can’t save on screen but have to print out and fill in by hand or risk losing everything.  Imbeciles.

Turns out the codes don’t work!  So she puts me on hold for 50 minutes while she tries to get AT&T U-Verse, which is sort of a separate company and isn’t (I always ask, but nobody can explain the relationship to me.  Like a family tree in West Virginia).  She tells me afterwards she was bounced around to 6 different agents before reaching one who — get this — tells us he can fix the “security certificate” error message I’m seeing, but it would cost me $15 for a month’s subscription to the protection service that allows him to intercede.

At this point I go ballistic, and the agent who linked us up — still on the line, monitoring progress — tells him (and me) she had no idea this was in play and he’s obviously the wrong person to be speaking to about this problem.

There’s a lot more to this but what it boils down to is the codes my very helpful agent has are the wrong ones.  Another agent suggests deleting the account and using different settings, which, once applied, restored service.  That process took 4 minutes, 2 of which involving my clumsy typing.

What this means, I say to my angel afterwards, who has spent 3 hours with me, Is that not only does this colossal communication company fail to keep its own customers informed, it doesn’t even bother to update its own service personnel.  Who’s running this ship?  Which one of the Ts in AT&T stands for Titanic?

Anyway, that chunk of statue is at the Parker Playhouse in Ft Lauderdale, a moldy, crumbling facility with some of the most hideous art on its walls and grounds as you’ll ever find except maybe squirreled away in great grandma’s attic.  Of which this place reminds me.

It has nothing to do with this post, however.  I just needed a cheap laff and a graphic.

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6 Responses to Hold The Line

  1. julesagray says:

    I prefer the giant Pepsi can garbage can. Now THAT’S art!

  2. Barbara Ganousch says:

    I’ve always felt that way about Parker Playhouse. Everything about the place is just weird, from the art and appearance to the lay-out and the crazy old theater where there are like 35 seats across every row and no center aisles.

  3. 90% of AT&T support turds are black and their call center is in Uganda.

    Doesn’t that say something?

    Bring those jobs back to smart white America

    • Merkin Way says:

      “Smart white America” is the cluster-fuck of management that has AT&T so busted up and jerry-rigged together that one unit doesn’t know what the other is doing. the customer perspective, ATT, U-Verse, Yahoo, and Bellsouth might as well be deadly competitors, not divisions of the same company. If you want to improve things, send the executive functions over to Uganda, too.

      You should go with them yourself and stay there. That would improve this country even more.

      • The “slant eyes” of China are no better. The U.S.A was founded by whites and must stay that way.

        All BLACKS BACK TO AFRICA.

        No darkie will ever ride my Harley.

      • Kim Chee says:

        SB: That is disgusting sentiment and factually incorrect as well. But at least in your choice of name you recognize your own hatred and ignorance. As do we all.

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