Mental Midget vs. the Dwarfs

Don’t know I missed this one the first time around, but it’s coming back….

Rep. Ritch Workman, R-Melbourne, filed a bill this week to bring back “dwarf tossing,” the barbaric and dangerous barroom spectacle that was imported from Australia and thrived briefly in Florida before it was outlawed in 1989.

“I’m on a quest to seek and destroy unnecessary burdens on the freedom and liberties of people,” Workman said. “This is an example of Big Brother government….”All that it does is prevent some dwarfs from getting jobs they would be happy to get,” Workman said. “In this economy, or any economy, why would we want to prevent people from getting gainful employment?” — Palm Beach Post

The problem here is that Workman stole all my lines.  I was going to fake an interview with him where he bloviated on about getting government out of the way of business so business could do what it does best — create jobs and wealth, provide opportunities, manage its own affairs according to rules of the marketplace.

And he’d go on to belittle the nanny state where government protects people who would be better off without it, making “victims” out of everybody.  He’s cite anti-dwarf-tossing legislation as a perfect example of government interfering where it wasn’t wanted, simultaneously depriving workers of a living and the market of job creators.

The whole thing would be so patently absurd and outrageous — but he beat me to it by actually laying out that argument seriously!

Damn it.  It’s hard to out-idiot an imbecile.  Ever hear that you can’t cure stupid?  When it comes to the Florida Lege, you can’t out-stupid it, either.  Dem boyz is de starz of stooped.

I sort of met a dwarf just once, in a car accident.  I’m stopped at a light and this SUV rams into me, not too hard, but I get out to look.  My little Toyota is fine — he gets me on a bumper brace or something, but he got himself a bad dent and a broken parking light.  The driver jumps out, and maybe he’s 4 feet tall, and a little wobbly.  I ask him if he’s hurt.

“No,” he says, eyeing up the damage sadly.  “But I’m not happy.”

“Oh?” I ask him.  “Which one are you — Sneezy?  Bashful?  Doc?”

I love that.  Wish it actually happened.

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3 Responses to Mental Midget vs. the Dwarfs

  1. Dawgbowl says:

    Huffington Post had something about this yesterday. The consensus of opinion seems to be that Florida is a village of idiots governed by morons.

  2. 'Nonymous says:

    I notice that you don’t actually attempt to refute his argument, just belittle it and insult him. Is that because you can’t find anything wrong with it except that you don’t like it?

    • Squathole says:

      Hole in One, ‘Nonym-ass. You nailed it. That’s precisely the problem — I just can’t come up with one thing wrong with his argument except somehow I feeeeeeeeeel like it’s wrong. You got me.

      Imbecile. You’re a Floridian, right?

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