Pig Skin Party Time

And so baseball season ends, leaving us this to look forward to:

A radio station in Ontario held a ticket giveaway in which six contestants had to dig through a kiddie pool filled with buffalo manure to find a canister containing passes to this game at the Rogers Centre. (“Best seats in the hoose,” the radio host claimed.) The exact amount of humiliation a person will endure for the opportunity to watch John Beck hand off to Roy Helu has finally been scientifically ascertained, and it sheds horrifying light upon human nature. — NYTimes

Light is shed on the entire universe of football fans each week as they line their fat asses up on couches and bar stools nationwide to watch stupefyingly dull contests stinking of corporate America values and barnyard blood lust (the marriage of the works out so well, yes?).

It’s almost November.  When do pitchers and catchers report?

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4 Responses to Pig Skin Party Time

  1. Piles says:

    I sure hope the station manager hung around to shake hands with the winner.

  2. Ted Williams' Head says:

    I can tell you hate football. That’s unusual, especially in south Flori-duh, where I don’t mind saying there exist the stupidest, least informed and sophisticated fans in the world. Keep up the good attitude.

    • julesagray says:

      Best. Commment. Ever. ^^^^^^^

    • Squathole says:

      Thanks, Ted’s Head. I guess. I used to like football and the Dolphins until I moved to Florida and was introduced first-hand to the awful sports media here, and the even awful-er fan base. They really know nothing about the game: they’re all into personalities. Further proof was last week when that Christian cretin Tim Tebone showed up.

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