Officials in the Florida Everglades have captured and killed a 16-foot-long Burmese python that had just eaten an adult deer……The reptile was one of the largest ever found in South Florida.
[T]he python had recently consumed a 76-pound female deer. — Msnbc
Doh! A deer, a female deer……
Astonishing, isn’t it, how consistent the world is? This non-native creature finds its way to America, and in no time it grows to obese dimensions. The main difference between this dead python and the average south Florida elementary school student is that the python didn’t pig out on a diet of sugared soda products.
Snakes don’t chew their food. They open their jaws to unimaginable dimensions — this one accommodated 75 pounds of dead deer — then stuff the whole mess in and swallow. I admire this approach and technique far more than those raised-pinky foodie types who ooh and aah over exotic mushroom pesto sauce, clucking and sipping and smacking their lips. The python recognizes its basic need for nourishment and takes care of business. It’s more honest, somehow, and therefore, in my mind, far more civilized. When I see a table surrounded by foodies, or accidentally read one of their fingernails-on-the-blackboard blog posts, I have thoughts of starving them to death or force-feeding them, foi-gras-like, ‘til they split wide open.
Foodies are an unwelcome, invasive species on every continent they inhabit. They’re lower on the totem pole than competitive eaters. They lose sight of the fact that by focusing on fine dining, they don’t appreciate the blessing bestowed upon those of us at the top of the food chain. Ask the python about that, let alone the dead deer.
By the way, the python was nicknamed “Chris Christie.”