Monthly Archives: December 2011

Have You Heard? Don’t Listen.

Posted on December 30, 2011 by squathole

Out late last night with Guido at the Liquor and Rubber Balls Sports Emporium and Marital Aids While You Wait for a quick pick-me-up after a long day of last-minute errands.  The place is half-full (if you’re an optimist; half-empty … Continue reading →

Posted in The Adventures of Don Tequila | 3 Comments

Saved The Best Part for Last

Posted on December 29, 2011 by squathole

Calling it a “tragically bizarre” case, an Illinois appeals court has ruled that a man killed by a train while crossing the tracks at a Chicago Metra station can be held responsible after part of his body struck and injured … Continue reading →

Posted in People Who Died, Died | 1 Comment

View From the Bottom Man

Posted on December 28, 2011 by squathole

This whole business of Christmas gifts leaves me uncomfortable, but fuck me, right?  I will get them and damnit, I will give them.  It’s like voting. One gift this year is a subscription to Rolling Stone magazine.  Great! I exclaim, … Continue reading →

Posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment | 8 Comments

Let’s Give Them a Big Hand

Posted on December 27, 2011 by squathole

In an ever-expanding race to the bottom in the world of sports, we’ve bumped up against something more nauseating than competitive eating: World champion masturbator Masanobu Sato isn’t shy….He’s pleasured himself in front of crowds at San Francisco’s annual Masturbate-a-thon, … Continue reading →

Posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment | 7 Comments

I Thought It Was Boxing Day. Not Shooting Day.

Posted on December 26, 2011 by squathole

GRAPEVINE, Texas – A gunman who killed six people and himself at a family Christmas celebration outside Dallas was dressed in a Santa Claus suit when he opened fire, police said on Monday. Grapevine police Lieutenant Todd Dearing said the … Continue reading →

Posted in NIMBY | Leave a comment

Hangover Monday

Posted on December 26, 2011 by squathole

Happy after-Christmas pre-New Year. Certainly not to my surprise,  but once again the only thing I ever ask for at Christmas failed to appear under our tree (or anybody else’s):  Peace On Earth.    On the positive side, this weekend … Continue reading →

Posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment | 5 Comments

“I’ll Beer Right Back”

Posted on December 23, 2011 by squathole

Here’s what happens when communities crack down on panhandlers: A Florida man ordered a beer at the Hayloft bar Thursday, then ducked out for a half hour to get some money before returning to his brew, WTSP-TV reports….Not particularly unusual, … Continue reading →

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip | Leave a comment

Starting Today, the Sun Shines Longer

Posted on December 23, 2011 by squathole

That’s right — yesterday was the Winter Solstice, which means (1) winter begins, and (b) from this point forward the days grow longer as the nights grow shorter.  That’s “nights,” not “Knights,” who are unaffected. Friday before Christmas and who … Continue reading →

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip | 3 Comments

Onward Christian Soldiers

Posted on December 22, 2011 by squathole

Gosh it’s tough celebrating holidays in 21st century America. Homeowners in Hudsonville, Mich., have been singled out for displaying what an anonymous letter-writer calls “pagan” lights and decorations on their properties. On Wednesday night, residents of Vintage Drive found a … Continue reading →

Posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment | 12 Comments

Cut!

Posted on December 20, 2011 by squathole

One of the best things about the Christmas season is the number and variety of news items about self-proclaimed Christians going seasonally post-toasties. It seems to be a world-wide phenomenon, unrelated to weather conditions, drinking water, or whatever choad happens … Continue reading →

Posted in NIMBY | 16 Comments