Monthly Archives: December 2011

Have You Heard? Don’t Listen.

Out late last night with Guido at the Liquor and Rubber Balls Sports Emporium and Marital Aids While You Wait for a quick pick-me-up after a long day of last-minute errands.  The place is half-full (if you’re an optimist; half-empty … Continue reading

Posted in The Adventures of Don Tequila | 3 Comments

Saved The Best Part for Last

Calling it a “tragically bizarre” case, an Illinois appeals court has ruled that a man killed by a train while crossing the tracks at a Chicago Metra station can be held responsible after part of his body struck and injured … Continue reading

Posted in People Who Died, Died | 1 Comment

View From the Bottom Man

This whole business of Christmas gifts leaves me uncomfortable, but fuck me, right?  I will get them and damnit, I will give them.  It’s like voting. One gift this year is a subscription to Rolling Stone magazine.  Great! I exclaim, … Continue reading

Posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment | 8 Comments

Let’s Give Them a Big Hand

In an ever-expanding race to the bottom in the world of sports, we’ve bumped up against something more nauseating than competitive eating: World champion masturbator Masanobu Sato isn’t shy….He’s pleasured himself in front of crowds at San Francisco’s annual Masturbate-a-thon, … Continue reading

Posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment | 7 Comments

I Thought It Was Boxing Day. Not Shooting Day.

GRAPEVINE, Texas – A gunman who killed six people and himself at a family Christmas celebration outside Dallas was dressed in a Santa Claus suit when he opened fire, police said on Monday. Grapevine police Lieutenant Todd Dearing said the … Continue reading

Posted in NIMBY | Leave a comment

Hangover Monday

Happy after-Christmas pre-New Year. Certainly not to my surprise,  but once again the only thing I ever ask for at Christmas failed to appear under our tree (or anybody else’s):  Peace On Earth.    On the positive side, this weekend … Continue reading

Posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment | 5 Comments

“I’ll Beer Right Back”

Here’s what happens when communities crack down on panhandlers: A Florida man ordered a beer at the Hayloft bar Thursday, then ducked out for a half hour to get some money before returning to his brew, WTSP-TV reports….Not particularly unusual, … Continue reading

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip | Leave a comment