Lick Her Control. Bored?

File this under “What Were They Thinking?”

An ad meant to warn young adults about the links between heavy drinking and rape has been pulled by Pennsylvania’s Liquor Control Board…..Critics said it was another example of suggesting victims are to blame for rape.  — 

Look, I sympathize.  As one who devoted significant efforts doing my damndest to get my dates too drunk to resist my equally drunken attempts at clumsy seduction, I fully understand the value of alcohol.

Hell, who doesn’t?   Shiites?  Mormons?  Kids who take vows of endless lonely masturbation chastity?

Had I thought it through, which I certainly did not, I would have drawn the line at consciousness.  But the issue is moot: I usually bonked out ‘way before my intended partner.  This says something not only my own fragile capacity, but the kind of women I was attracted to.  That would have been me with the bare thighs and exposed crotch sprawled in the toilet stall and no, it wouldn’t have been nearly as pleasing a photo.

Which is the other problem with this ad.  That photo is a turn-on.  Idiots.

I’m happy to say that my capacity has improved along with my judgment and taste in women.   And with these personal improvements comes enough fucking sense to see that the PA Liquor Control Board hasn’t progressed nearly as far.  Who’s running the show up there — Jerry Sandusky?

The nagging/finger wagging approach suggested by this ad has nothing to do with rape, which is what we’re talking about when somebody’s sexuality is violated, whether it’s under the influence of alcohol, drugs, violence, or threat.  Don’t give us “She was too drunk to say No.”  Being too drunk is Saying No.

It isn’t easy to convey the importance of personal responsibility, clearly well beyond the dimwitted ham-handed clods in government bureaucracies like PA’s grossly outdated Liquor Control Board.   They shouldn’t even try, but then, the state shouldn’t be in the liquor business.  Pennsylvania still has “state stores,” a monopoly on hard liquor sales.  It’s mind bogglingly difficult to buy beer in that bass-ackwards commonwealth, let alone Wild Turkey.  Buying liquor there is as grueling and unpleasant an experience as dealing with the cretinous drooling drones at the Department of Motor Vehicles.  They have a legal monopoly on liquor sales and they actually lose money every year.  This is another reason why people hate their government.

Who won’t drink to that?

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6 Responses to Lick Her Control. Bored?

  1. The MassPube says:

    liquor she said and liquor I did and I don’t work there any more. So much for my career at a PA State Store. Well written, young fellow with excellent points made strongly. You’re right, the photo is something I’d expect on an Internet porn site, not that there’s anything wrong with that!!!

  2. Lois Terms says:

    This truly is a disgusting and condescending campaign but I’m glad to see it was removed. Next they need to remove the jackasses that approved it..

  3. Borkon says:

    Those of us on the Jersey side of the bridges are delighted with the PA state store system, which has kept our liquor and spirits industry booming for several hundred years. The parking lots at Roger Wilco have more PA license plates this time of year than the prisons.

  4. Joe Balls says:

    The number of times I’ve gotten drunk with women who end up jumping me greatly outnumbers the times it worked the other way. Sure that sometimes led to post-coital recriminations (on their part) but shit, that happens when there’s no drinking involved, too. It’s the nature of the best and I’ll drink to that, too.

  5. Jaded says:

    The last time I went out drinking with a guy led to us kissing when he walked me back to my car. I now regret the experience and think if only we had met for coffee instead, I would have done things differently.

    • Camiel Toe says:

      Count your many blessings,sweetie. If you found a guy who kisses, you’re doing better than most, unless he was gay..

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