Oy-owa My Eye

Update!  As promised below, here’s a calculation of money spent per vote in Iowa.  ABC News figures that about “$102.20 was invested per caucus goer, based on the just over 122,255 people who voted.”  Over $12.5 Million was spent on teevee ads alone.  In other words, this wasteful exrecise in futility is best understood as an economic stimulus package.  Long live democracy.


The crushing silence heard as I write this (on Tuesday night) responds to my question, “Honk your horn if you give a damn who takes Iowa.”

As my companion, a famous blogger and podcaster aptly phrased it this afternoon at lunch, “The fact that Rick Santorum leads in the polls out there tells you everything you need to know about how irrelevant that contest is.”

As has been iterated, reiterated, and rereiterated ad nauseum (another synonym for Santorum), the population of Iowa isn’t even remotely similar to that of the nation as a whole, and the ‘Pubs even less so.  E.g., the state is 91% white, compared to the nation at 74%.  My favorite stat, though, is that it’s 59% Protestant, 26% Catholic,  10% “None,” 5% “Other,” and 0% Jewish.  [via]  Zero percent!  Why, everybody knows that the world is run by a cabal of 7 Jews in Geneva, and that the entire American media and Hollywood are controlled by Jews — so how could Iowa be important?

Last number I heard was $12.5 Million — the amount of money spent on Iowan ‘Pubs in an effort to buy win their vote.  Tomorrow I’ll get an updated figure, then divide that by the number of votes cast to see how much each one cost.  It will be about $110 each.  Even an Iowan Republican could find a better use for that kind of cash if a check were written to each one directly.  Me, I could buy 2 very nice bottles of Partida Reposado tequila, and forget to write in the name Ralph Nader.  Or Endicott Smegma.

But the big news, and the lead story in the Department of You Heard It Here First, is that the rumor started by professional gambler Duck Diamonds regarding a change in the Democratic ticket has been picked up by the Wall Street Journal.  True, Duck put it out there that the new VP would be John Huntsman while the WSJ speculates it might be Hilary Clinton, but these things evolve.  Duck, I’m betting with you, never against.

Gosh, sports fans, what’s gonna happen next?

My best guess is, breakfast.

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6 Responses to Oy-owa My Eye

  1. ya' gotta' guessit says:


    If Hillary’s on the ticket, does this mean that Biden (that smacked ass) might be returning to Delaware??

    I’m too close to Delaware, RIGHT NOW.

    • Borkon says:

      Tell me about being too close to Delaware. Let alone Biden. We don’t let him set foot in Jersey: the bridges have Biden-repellent devices.

  2. Rick says:

    Wasserman Schultz says “no” but I never trust anyone with 2 last names.

  3. Paot says:

    While I realize your remarks regarding Jewish control of the media and Hollywood (and the world) are satirical, it’s worth mentioning that even today there are many Americans who subscribe to the belief, as well as anti-Semites around the world.

  4. 'Nonymous says:

    I guess it doesn’t occur to you and your politically correct liberal lapdogs that what you think of as the disconnect between Iowa Republicans and the rest of the country might actually be a reasoned choice on the part of many decent, law-abiding, and conservative citizens to maintain values and a lifestyle they regard as not only best for themselves, but for the country as well. No, that’s not how you see it at all — you prefer to throw some meaningless numbers up there and scoff, secure in your elitist knowledge that they’re all just a pack of racist loonies. That’s pretty much the line taken by the MSM, starting with your beloved New York Times, right?

    • Dawgbowl says:

      ‘Nonymous: Yep — that’s pretty much it. Us liberals are pretty sure that most of the country isn’t in favor of government-mandated prayer in schools, prohibitions on what women do with their own bodies and what gay people do in their own bedrooms, etc. And even if most Americans WERE in favor of those intrusions, we’d know no court in the land would uphold them. So I guess you’re right. In fact, far right. Extreme right. Loony-tune right. See you in November.

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