Born To Run?

The world’s first genetically modified monkeys have been created in the US, with researchers fusing cells from up to six different embryos….The experiment produced three healthy male rhesus monkeys they named Roku, Hex and Chimero, with gene traits from all of the separate embryos used to meld them.

Scientists use rhesus monkeys to study HIV/Aids drugs, research vaccines for rabies, smallpox and polio, and to study potential uses for embryonic stem cells. They have also been launched into space on test missions by the US and Russia. — TheTelegraph

And their next stop will be New Hampshire, where the nation’s first Republican primary will take place in less than a week.  “We want to have a good look at them,” said GOP leader Endicott Smegma, from his Peterborough campaign office.  “Lots of party regulars and independents in this state would still welcome a credible alternative to Mitt Romney, and these three have positive attributes we’ve not seen in any of the others.

“Besides, they sorta look Republican, don’t they?  They remind me of somebody.”

No comment from the Paul or Gingrich camps, but a spokesman for Rick Perry reiterated the Texas governor’s belief in Creationism, and noted that monkeys weren’t eligible to serve “even though these three fellas have birth certificates, unlike a certain Muslim Socialist from Kenya with an A-rab name.”

A spokesman from Rick Santorum’s HQ questioned the credentials of the three potential newcomers.  “The only real distinction between them and Mittens [Romnery] is they’re more consistent.  That doesn’t make ’em conservative.”

Meanwhile, with Michelle Bachmann’s campaign “suspended,” persistent rumors about the return of Sara Palin continue to build.  “Never say never,” she told one interviewer, with a glittering smile, “and maybe these three new guys would value the refudiation of an experienced Vice Presidential candidate who’s put up with all sorts of monkeyshines already!”

No word from Gary Hart.

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Born To Run?

  1. ya' gotta' guessit says:

    Looks like a Republican?!?

    Put the one on the left in a dress, and it’s a ringer for Pelosi.
    Probably more lucid, though.

  2. Inquiring Minds says:

    Well…not to be picky, but there are only 2 monkeys in the photo. What happened to #3?

    Yo Ducks, want to take bets that the gene-splicing on #3 turned out a little different than the others. You know, something like right hand on left leg…..head & butt mixed up.

  3. Lois Terms says:

    They’re ‘way too cute to be Republicans. Or Democrats.

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