Down Town

The author warns at the outset, that this is not a scientific study, just a little game with Google trends.  Still, as a native of the City of Bodily Harm, I’m proud to have scored #1:

Most Depressing U.S. Cities in 2011

The following U.S. cities searched for depression-related terms on Google more often than other cities, according to Google Trends.

Philadelphia, PA    Dallas, TX    Chicago, IL    Minneapolis, MN   Seattle, WA   Houston, TX    New York, NY    Portland, OR    San Diego, CA    Phoenix, AZ     San Francisco, CA     Los Angeles, CA    Denver, CO   Austin, TX    Boston, MA

Most Depressing U.S. States in 2011

The following states searched for depression-related terms on Google more often than other states, according to Google Trends.

Pennsylvania   Kentucky  New Jersey   Indiana    Michigan    Utah  Ohio     South Carolina   Alabama   Wisconsin   Iowa  Connecticut   Mississippi   Tennessee   North Carolina

Yay Philly!  We’re Number 1…… and we’re Number 1 again!!

You can find the data here.  I found this faux study only because my cousin — actually a second cousin, one whom I think I’ve never met, to my chagrin — noted it on his Facebook page.  (I guess I need to introduce myself an friend his family ass.)

Having grown up in Philadelphia, I can see where it would be fertile ground for depression.  I spent a lot of unhappy time there, even if you discount all 12 years of public school, which, in the lingo of the day, ate shit off the wall and blew dead Japs, especially high school.  I recall many down moments when I was broke, horny, cold, and just generally frustrated.  Did I say “moments”?  I meant “years.”

That noted, I truly doubt that (a) I was the only one, (2) it would have been different anywhere else, and (iii) Oops I forget in honor of Rick Perry, former candidate for the Republican presidential nomination god help us all.

Besides, the solution to all my depression was breathtakingly simple: GET LAID.  So I did.  As often as possible, which wasn’t often enough but still.  Sometimes a man has to get up and attend to essentials, like feed the cat.

Philadelphia was a dreary place for a long time but it has remade itself remarkably.  By the time I left I knew I would miss it, and I did and still do.  At the moment it’s 34 degrees there.  I’m not going back.  If I want to get depressed again, I’ll do it here.  All I need to do is look at my bank balance.

The list is suspect anyway.  Conspicuously missing: Cleveland, Detroit, Cincinnati, Spokane, and Wichita.  I’d throw in Atlanta, too.  Maybe it’s not depressing, but that place sucks out loud  (and/or blows dead Japs).  I’m not a big fan of Daytona Beach, either, where I felt like I wanted to wipe my feet on the way out.

Then again, just about all of my friends from up north hate south Florida.  They have the good sense, taste, and class to do so from afar as opposed to the millions who come here, stay, and bitch about it endlessly.

It’s all moot anyway once President Gingrich takes over.

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2 Responses to Down Town

  1. cljahn says:

    While some might say NJ is probably on the list only because Pennsylvanians keep crossing the bridges to buy booze and pass out on the beach, it’s actually the years under a Republican governor that tipped them over.

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