Three Shots

This is Binky.  Yesterday he had his balls removed.  Today he got a phone call from the Gingrich campaign soliciting his support.  Coincidence?  You decide.

Binky is the 6th cat in the household.  You probably think he’s very cute, but the other 5 are non-committal.  Even the two 3-year-olds find him ‘way too energetic and playful.  Guido and I keep him entertained with string, rolled-up paper, little kitten toys, and surgery. So far, so good.  Some breakage and spills, but nothing flammable or irreplaceable.

The other day I found myself at a booth in a Hollywood Chinese restaurant where the sign on the right was displayed.

My lunch companion, who like most of the world is a more observant creature than I am, pointed out that it was upside down: the smoke should be rising.

A quick survey of the dining room revealed that every similar sign was also upside-down, and we discussed whether or not this was a positive or negative commentary on the installer(s).  I lean toward the positive: he or she got it wrong, but paid sufficient attention to get it consistent.

My companion asked me whether or not I would continue patronizing this restaurant if whenever I did, and ordered the same meal,  it came out wrong.  We discussed this, too.

Finally, on the left is a photo of the front window of Jimmy John’s, a restaurant in Pembroke Pines.  I had lunch there once — not really my style or taste, but not bad for a sandwich shop.

Please note that the window has the words FREE SMELLS in red neon.  For several months I puzzled over who (or what) SMELLS is and why he has been incarcerated, inspiring this neon plea for his release.  Then one day I figured it out.  All by myself!

What makes it rather odd that I got confused by this is that years ago, when synagogues around the nation sported FREE SOVIET JEWS banners in response to some international crisis or campaign the details of which I don’t remember, I recall thinking to myself, “I wonder how many they’re giving out.”  Which suggests my confusion reflex or instinct works inconsistently.

Perhaps that’s why I find the wrong but consistent signage in the Chinese reataurant admirable on some level.

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16 Responses to Three Shots

  1. Anonymous says:

    I *really* liked where this seemed to be going; what with the new cat, and the Chinese restaurant, and everything…

    • Joe Balls says:

      I agree — I was waiting for the link from the kitten’s removed balls to the Chinese restaurant, but it never happened.

  2. Phil "Smoky" Morris says:

    Clearly this sign is only meant for smokers who stand on the heads

  3. Lois Terms says:

    Very cute kitty. Made me smile.

  4. cljahn says:

    Phil, there’s nothing vague about the pornography; he’s playing with a pussy, but he’s not allowed to smoke afterwards, and there’s that smell.

  5. Binky says:

    Big laugh funny face. Remember, I know where you sleep.

  6. Maria says:

    China is so oppressed even smoke can’t have an uprising!

  7. Beardsley says:

    Actually, you’re 100% consistent. You get it wrong each time, every time. I suspect you’r wired mentally to (a) perfectly comprehend the intended meaning of the message, but then (b) corrupt it. It’s your contrary personality at work, and a pathology quite common among creative types and psychopaths.

  8. Ted Williams' Head says:

    My companion asked me whether or not I would continue patronizing this restaurant if whenever I did, and ordered the same meal, it came out wrong.

    Intriguing……I suppose that would depend first on whether what actually came out was good or bad, and preferable to what I ordered. I would also wonder, if it ALWAYS came out the same, if the menu or what I was ordering was wrong. Tell me this — if you ordered a hot meal at this place, did the steam travel up or down?

    Dilemmas like this make my head hurt — which means I hurt all over.

  9. julesagray says:

    Jimmy john’s blows donk. The owner, Jimmy John Liataud, is a big time tea bagger choad who looks like he should be driving NASCAR instead of running a shitty sandwich shop. He gives a lot of cash to both the Illinois Republican and national Republican parties. Also, if you’re a Jimmy John’s franchisee, by contract, Fox News must be the only news station on the tee vees in your Jimmy John’s franchise. If you wanna have sports on, that’s great, but no MSNBC or any other news station!
    I avoid that place like the plague. Plus their sammiches taste like rotten ass.

    Cute pussy, btw.

    • Hugh Bris says:

      Funny about NASCAR — his company is a sponsor of driver Kevin Harvick.. He’s also fond of going on safaris and killing large animals (even larger than his own fat-assed self). Makes me wonder what some of that chewy crap in the sandwiches might be. I tried that place twice and both times I left really disappointed. The smells were OK, though, especially for the money.

  10. julesagray says:

    I edited a story about him for a chicago business pub and I remember looking over the photos of him standing over dead animals he had killed. we decided not to use any of them in the story.

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