Buyers’ Remorse the Sunshine State

My preference is not to write about politics per se.   I’m more intrigued by the ebbs and flows of the powers that propel differing perspectives and ideas that in turn become the obstacles on political battlefields.  I don’t give a damn about who’s running for office — they’re all just different sides of the same stained coin anyway — but it’s fascinating to see how the argument over (e.g.) federalism gets framed by people who urge the Federal government to butt out of states’ sovereignty when it comes to civil rights like gay marriage and illegal immigrants, but urge a Federal statute for carrying guns and declaring that birth begins at masturbation.  (I may have that last one wrong.)  How “income inequality” becomes “class warfare” or “socialism.”  Etc.

I love exposed hypocrisy, and the more sanctimonious the hypocrite, the funnier it is.  Which brings us to the Newt and his omnipresent puss here in Florid-duh where the ‘Pub primary concludes next Tuesday.

The so-called ‘Pub establishment has sounded the alarm.  Make that, “pressed the panic button.”  Among the high and mighty who have trashed him highly and mightily are Elliot Abrams (National Review), Man Coulter, Mathilde Drudge, and Tom DeLay.  Here’s a tidy little summaryHere’s Lefty Bob Dole.  There’s plenty more all over the place.

They’re truly worried, and it’s richly rewarding, because they stood silently by for the last 4 years as their own party operatives kept lowering the bar, cheapening the dialog, dumbing down the arguments, and debasing the debate.  They handed the reins over to the Evangelicals and Teabaggers who drove the party apparatus so far off the trail they can’t find their way back.  The Kenyan Muslim Socialist wants to ban Christmas, take away your guns, declare Sharia Law, raise your taxes, and pee in the punch bowl, while the elite liberal Jewish media protect him by refusing to expose his evil deeds — and holy shit, did you notice that he’s Black?

Where was the collective STFU from Abrams/Coulter/Dole/Drudge/Delay?  Not until Newty made typically ignorant, off-the-mark generalizations about Mittens and Bain Capital, actually criticizing the holy free market, do they finally climb on their hind legs to denounce what they themselves, through their tacit approval, hath wrought.

Great stuff.  It worked so well for a while — look at the 2010 elections!  But now it’s all out of hand and they’re scrambling for cover.  Like warty witches boiling foul weeds and stinking carrion in an iron pot, their spell reversed their own fortune — they turned something shiny into a lowly Newt.  Now they’re in un-do mode.

This is just wonderful to behold, and so close to home it’s downright delicious.

My predictions are almost always wrong, but I make them anyway:

  • Mittens will prevail in Florida, but Newty will show a strong second, and he’ll keep on rolling.
  • Santorum will drop out and back Mittens — yes, there’s a good deal in it for him — while Ryan, with nothing to lose, keeps on truckin’.
  • Newty might actually take another contest or two, like Arizona, but he’s on his way out…..and watching him crash and burn will be more spiritually rewarding than seeing Jesus Tebow and the Denver Broncos lose.

Oh, and the Giants will beat the Patriots again.  But more on that later.

[phtoto credit]

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7 Responses to Buyers’ Remorse the Sunshine State

  1. Key Liam says:

    Don’t lose sight of the fact that Gingrich is as much an “establishment” Republican as the others. He was Speaker of the House, a Washington lobbyist, and the prime mover behind Republican gains against Clinton all through the 90s. Positioning himself as “the outsider” in this contest is just another craptastic phrase to fall out of his mouth.

  2. odtley says:

    i will probably vote for gingrich because he reminds me of one of the doctors at the institution where i lived for a few years who was in charge of the place and he had all these ideas about how to handle us and what drugs to use and things to talk about but he was completely inept and unfocused and changed his mind every other day which meant we pretty much got to ignore him and do whatever we want as long as the meds kept coming which strikes me as the best thing a president could do because that way he wont do anything to hurt anybody and we will all be stoned and happy and not give a shit

  3. Lu Senz says:

    The Giants will NOT beat the Patriots again, in fact, the Pats will beat the line. Put your money where your pie hole (or in your case, beer hole) is. Cosmo has a pool going at LRBs.

    You’re right about Gingrich, though. He will lose Florida, lose momentum, lose money, and then lose interest. And then he’ll just lose. There’s a word for people like him that begins with the letter L-O-S-E.

  4. nonee moose says:

    That whole peeing in the punchbowl thing… it’s not true, is it?

  5. Camiel Toe says:

    “….declaring that birth begins at masturbation…”

    OMG!! I’m the mother of all humankind!!

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