Livin’ On a Thin Line

Okay.  One last word on the Superbowl.  Specifically, on the half-time show:

Among the many odd moments in Madonna’s epic, Roman Empire-themed halftime performance at this year’s Super Bowl, perhaps the oddest came when the Voguing queen walked up next to what appeared to be a makeshift limbo pole or maybe a low-lying tightrope and watched a man who looked like he maybe could have been Will Ferrell or possibly a younger and svelter Richard Simmons (someone, in any case, with a lot of hair) bounce up and down as though that little rope was a trampoline. Oh, and he was wearing a toga.

What in the world was going on?….Well, the short answer is: slacklining.  —

You and Google can take it from here.  I’ll just add that the performance artist is known as SKandy, short for “Sketchy Andy,” and if we’re lucky that was his 15 minutes of fame.  But I fear it isn’t.

While I was never a big Madonna fan, I like some of her music, but her physical appearance always made me a little sick.   (I have the same reaction to Prince.  He makes me throw up in my mouth a little.  No idea why.)  However, as she aged I could tolerate her better.  On Sunday, though, watching her creak around the stage lip-synching her own music, it was just a little bit sad, especially on close-ups that revealed her crash-dummy complexion.   

But this skanky SkAndy guy needs a lot of work.  The hair’s got to go — the dog chewed mullet, the half-beard stubble — and if he’s actually going to wear a fucking toga for god knows what reason, he would benefit from some serious manscaping.  When he lifted Madonna over his head I was reminded of King Kong manhandling Fay Wray, except Kong had a whole lot more upper-body definition.  Hell, so did Ms. Wray.

Madonna, for chrissake.  What, the Bee Gees weren’t available?  ABBA went to bed early?  What’s on for next year — Punxsutawney Phil?  How about Jackeen J. O’Malley and the Elves, Leprechauns, Gnomes, and Little Men’s Chowder and Marching Society?
This is just further reason to imbibe strong drinks at Superbowl parties.  Partida Reposado and Bass Ale for me.  And did I mention that Guido and I won $120 in the betting pool?
This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Livin’ On a Thin Line

  1. Frank of Oregon says:

    There are already slacklining competitions, and the worldwide exposure it got from the half time show will certainly stir up interest. Hopefully a toga won’t be the official uniform.

  2. Old Timer says:

    Jackeen J. O’Malley and the Elves, Leprechauns, Gnomes, and Little Men’s Chowder and Marching Society

    Nobody knows what you’re talking about, man.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s