Shitz und Giggles

I’m really sorry, but this turned me into a gigglin’ fool: 

Piles of sauerkraut tumbled out of a truck on a busy German motorway and quickly froze to the autobahn surface, causing a massive traffic jam near Frankfurt during rush hour, police say…..With temperatures far below zero, the sauerkraut froze almost instantly and created impassable obstacles, causing traffic to back up for 10 km.

The motorway was completely shut down for four hours while authorities struggled to scrape the frozen sauerkraut away. —

“It’s a hot dog topping!”  “No, it’s a traffic calmer!”

Sauerkraut is kind of funny all by itself.  I once had a 40 gallon container of it to deal with..  It was left over from an outdoor event where we served hot dogs, and I discovered that mostly Latin kids and their families had no clue as to what it was.  They were largely repulsed by it, correctly observing that if it smelled sort of like a wet fart even before they ate it, it probably wouldn’t improve matters afterwards.  Good insight.

It never goes bad, because it starts that way.  Over the next few weeks, I ate it day and night until I couldn’t live with myself, let alone walk more than a block away from a toilet.  I ended up throwing it by the handful on the back lawn hoping the birds would either eat it or weave it into their nests.  This being eastern Hollywood, I suspect rats got most of it, though, who doubtlessly shit themselves silly.
A truck load frozen to the highway sounds mighty grim.  How about those poor schleps whose job it was to clean it up?  Even a crew of German road workers can’t eat that much ‘kraut.  What a disaster.  

Well if that was for shits, this is for giggles: 

Iran has announced a ban on dolls from The Simpsons franchise, claiming the legendary cartoon series has a morally corrupting influence on Iranian youth. Dolls of Homer, Marge, Bart and other characters from the show join the likes of Barbie, who was banned in the Islamic Republic last month.

Mohammad Hossein Farjoo is the man who leads the agency behind the ban. Farjoo, whose full title is ‘Secretary for Policy Making at the Institute for the Intellectual Development of Children and Young Adults in Tehran,’ told the Sharq newspaper:

“The Simpsons dolls are merchandise from an animated series, of which some episodes are even banned in Europe and America. We do not want to promote this cartoon by importing the toys.” —inquisitr

No Mohammed images, no Homer dolls.  I see the parallel.  In the wrong hands, both can produce insidious effects on “the intellectual development of children and young adults in Tehran.”  

I wonder about Barbie, though, unless their concern is for the blow-up doll.  And, following that line of thought, maybe they confused Marge with Jessica.  D’oh!

Whoever took the “fun” out of “fundamentalists” did so with an even hand.  Remember when Jerry Falwell warned Americans against Tinky Winky, and Evangelicals condemned Bert and Ernie as sodomites whose marriage would bring hell on earth?  What’s the matter with these people?  I think the “mental” was removed from “fundamentalist,” too.

That’s enough for a warm wet hump day.
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3 Responses to Shitz und Giggles

  1. The German Chef says:

    We are an ingenious people.

    Look for “Krautsickles” coming soon to “Bratmarket” near you.

    Free barfbags available at checkout.

    We are German and make your bowels run on time.

  2. Hose B says:

    Not one member of my family, which is Cuban, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Panamanian, and Spanish among others, had ever tasted sauerkraut until we were all together in New York City for a wedding and I took them all out for a genuine NY hot dog. The adults thought it was disgusting, most of the kids loved it.

  3. Rhubarb says:

    Oh grow up. There’s nothing funny about sauerkraut.

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