Right Turn Only

Rush Limbaugh will soon have a new radio rival: Mike Huckabee, the former Arkansas governor who ran for the Republican presidential nomination four years ago and thought about running again this year….. Instead, he will be running a radio show weekdays from noon to 3 p.m. for Cumulus Media Networks. The company will announce “The Mike Huckabee Show” on Thursday and begin selling it to radio stations ahead of an April 2 start date. — NYTimes

That’s good news.  If there’s one thing 50 million conservative radio listeners per week need, it’s yet another obese wingnut talk radio host.  Which is more or less how I begin my conversation with Nolen Voyd of Cumulus Media Networks.

“Oh, well, you can’t never have too much of a good thing, can ya?” he says jovially.  “I mean, Rush is Rush and ain’t nobody in ‘Merica dunno who he is an’ where he stands.  Guv’ner Huck’s show ain’t set up to counter that, just offer a refreshing take.”

So even with the same time slot, you don’t expect too many listeners to switch from Blobbo for Huck?

“Maybe some, but nah, that ain’t the idear cuz we know that ain’t happenin’.  People like Rush ‘cuz he tells ‘em what to think and saves ‘em all the trouble of figgerin’ it out for themselves.  He gives ‘em all the arguments against the propaganda they’re surrounded by in the elite liberal mainstream media.”

Sort of like religious faith, is that it?    

“Ya could say that, sure!  What more d’ya need to believe if ya got faith?  Gets ya past all that pesky factual confusionizing the media elites and liberal professors throw out there.”

So what does that leave Huckabee?

“Waaal, Huck ain’t gonna be all politics.  He’ll be talking about culture — books an’ stuff — and entertainment, maybe even touch on sports like this Tebow fella that has millions of Christians all raptous over him even though he can’t throw a football worth a damn.  That’s an important cultural fact for conservative people — their love for a man of strong faith and conviction even if he can’t do the job he’s overpaid to do — and it’s exactly the sort of thing Guv’ner Hick can relate to and talk about.”

Yes, I see that, now.  So the first show is April 2md, right?

“Yeppers, we’re on the calendar.  We pushed it back a day — we wanted to start April 1st, but our PR experts cautioned against it fer some reason.  Listen in, y’hear? Even if ya don’t learn nothing, you’ll enjoy y’self.  Thanks for callin’.”  He rings off.

Heh.  Even if ya don’t learn nothin’ you’ll enjoy y’self.  That could be the anthem for the entire wingnut radio industry.  Hear hear.
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4 Responses to Right Turn Only

  1. Neil, a Christian Soul says:

    Tim Tebow’s inspiring life story captivates Christians and non-Christians alike. It’s a moving account of a life that almost never was when his mother chose not take her physician’s advice to terminate her pregnancy, and he defeated adversity at every level on his faith and his love for Jesus. Today he leads teammates and other athletes who are drawn to his faith and personality as well as his talent. His exemplary conduct on and off the field, his vow of pre-marriage celibacy, and his loyalty to his team and the league all prove that Christian values are not just relevant, but necessary to lead and succeed. Your disparaging remarks are more than disrespectful, they are biased and border on blasphemy. I will pray for you, but you’re going to hell.

  2. Dawgbowl says:

    I agree that right wing talk radio is entertainment rather than news, but it’s disturbing (1) how many listeners aren’t aware of this and think it IS news, and (b) how utterly un-entertaining it actually is.

  3. 'Nonymous says:

    It amusing how you liberals, when you run out of arguments as you quickly do, resort to insult. In this case, you make a special point to disparage both Huckabee and Limbaugh about their weight. If conservatives did this sort of thing you’d be the first to point fingers and whine about political correctness.

    • Dawgbowl says:

      Is that right, ‘Nonymous? Because for the last 4 years or more I get about a dozen emails a week about how ugly Democrats like Nancy Pelosi, Hilary Clinton, Michelle Obama, etc. are compared to (e.g.) Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann. I guess it’s only politically incorrect when Democrats do it. You fraud, you hypocrite, you.

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