Fowl and Fouler Rush to Fame

We’ve had some mighty serious moments here for the last few days, so let’s switch gears and get back to the cheap yukz and snickerz:

A Chicken McNugget bearing a resemblance to our first president has sold on eBay for $8,100, the Sioux City Journal reports. An Iowa mom observed the similarity in a McDonald’s while picking up after her kids. She popped it in the freezer, where it stayed for three years, before putting it up for sale.  — Newser

That’s right — $8,100 for a 3-year old piece of crusty fried chicken — and nobody (yet) has claimed it can unite the nation or fix bad dentures, which is what you might expect from a George Washington charm.  Or even cure impotence — remember, he was the Father of Our Nation, and reportedly slept everywhere.

Is this a great country or what?  Even Rosa Lopez’s monthly Virgin Mary show in Hollywood doesn’t draw 8 Gr like this one, although the owner did get a tax break when she declared her house a shrine.  She also got parking problems and pissed off neighbors, but that’s another story.

Let’s move from divine to swine:

Talk about awkward timing: Rush Limbaugh, who was born in Missouri, will be inducted into the Hall of Famous Missourians later this year. That means he’ll have his very own bronze bust in the Missouri Capitol, alongside fellow Missourians Mark Twain and Walter Cronkite. — Newser

There will be some push-back against this honor, but let’s face it: Limpo’s too big to foil.  Photo at right shows an artist’s rendition of the finished product.

W/r/t the current controversy Limpo has talked himself into, two factors stand out.  The first is his unsophisticated, backasswards attitude about women and sex.  The premise for his whole rant is some ancient 1950’s era crap he never grew out of about sex being something dirty that men like and women endure, except for that species of “loose” women whose sexual appetite is the spawn of the devil and marks them as sluts and, prostitutes.  Grow up, Rush.  Thank Dog, nobody believes this anymore, with the possible exception of social conservatives who find you brilliant, and Santorum righteous.

The other astonishing revelation is his shallow grasp of how contraception works.  “She and her friends are having so much sex they can’t afford the contraception they need,” he stated over and over.  Dear Rush:  that’s not how it works.  Whether you have sex once a year or once every hour, when you’re on the pill you need to maintain the dosage.  It’s not like Viagra, which I suspect you’re familiar with, or Oxycontin, on which you’re an expert, that requires additional dosage to get and keep you hard and high.  Dunce.

As for his apology, inspired by the lightning fast departure of his sponsors, try this insight“Talk about a double standard,” Limbaugh said. “Rappers can say anything they want about women. It’s called art. And they win awards.”

This asshat gets a statue in Missouri’s Hall of Fame, and Pete Rose, with 4,256 hits, is barred from Cooperstown.  Go figger.

As for the purchaser of the GW McNugget, when asked what she intended to do with her $8,100 purchase, she told reporters, “I’m gonna eat it.  What the fuck else is it good for?”

Albert Camus would be proud of us all.

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This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Fowl and Fouler Rush to Fame

  1. ya' gotta' guessit says:

    Who gives a crap about Limbaugh’s opinion of Sandra Fluke?

    I’d much rather hear Rose’s.
    Or Dykstra’s (poor Lenny).

    • Borkon says:

      Even before he melted his synapses with steroids, Dykstra was a crazy fool. I hated him on the Mets, of course, but when he came to Philly he became a different player. Nobody worked a count better than he did: pitchers would have the first inning with 10 – 12 throws to him alone. (Compare J-Rol!) Remember when he tried to play the rest of a game after dislocating his collar bone? He must have thought he was immortal and invincible, both on the field and off. As bad as things are for him right now, I wouldn’t count him out forever.

      • ya' gotta' guessit says:

        Pete & Lenny were incorrigible bastards, cut from the same bolt of carbon-fiber cloth – they were also the *last* guys you’d want to face with the game on the line.

  2. Goldman Sucks says:

    You may wonder why the woman took so long to sell her precious McNugget.
    The price of McNugget futures are at an all time, like gold.

    However the price of French toast with a likeness of Jesus have fallen dramatically. There are just too many of them.

    I will not accept a commission for this advise, but I’ll be getting a tasty bonus.

  3. Dawgbowl says:

    A bulls eye on a horse’s ass. How perfect. PS: Twenty sponsors have dropped off so far.

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