Will Work For Buns

A Florida woman was arrested after police said she offered sexual favors for two McDonald’s double cheeseburgers.

An undercover detective invited Christine Baker, 47, into his car last week. When the talk turned to sex, police said Baker told the detective that her fee was two McDoubles, the double cheeseburgers on McDonald’s dollar menu, the Miami Herald reported.

She said he could also tip her another $40 for her “services,” the Bradenton Herald reported.

The detective bought the burgers and drove to a vacant lot, where other agents arrested Baker on charges of prostitution. —WMUR.com

I have successfully avoided fast food for so many years I don’t even know what is available any more — but it appears that these McDelicacies cost $1 apiece, which means the total price to rent Ms. Baker’s ass was $2.  Even with the suggested gratuity that’s mighty cheap.

I realize, too, that at 47 years old she’s aged beef.  You want flies with that?

Times are tough here in Florida, no matter what Gov Dickwithears wants to believe.  In terms of civilization, middle aged women selling their bodies on the streets is a step backwards.  Even in the third world you don’t find this — it’s usually children.

So I guess we need to hear the old joke once more about the elderly couple, desperate for money, who decide to send the old wife out on the streets.  They do their best to doll her up and find a street corner for her to work one weekend.  She’s out all night and by arrangement, the old man comes by next morning to collect her.  She opens her purse to count her take and all she’s got is $75.20.

“What cheapo shit gave you 20 cents?” her husband demands, indignantly.

“All of them” she says.

Hey — It doesn’t say whether or not Ms. Baker got to eat her $1 burgers.

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13 Responses to Will Work For Buns

  1. I gave her a “Thick Shake” if you know what I mean and she drank very drop of it.

    Does anyone here think I’m a pig?

  2. Mumblety Peg says:

    Men are such pigs, and this place is a pig sty.

  3. The Masspube says:

    Kind of gives new meaning to the term “Happy Meal”, doesn’t it?

  4. Joe Balls says:

    Maybe McDonalds should get into the skin biz. I can see it now — a “McThreesome” on their $1 menu. Not available at Drive-Thru window.

  5. Jesus loved hookers and yes in the “Biblical Sense.”

    He got laid on the the cheap, even without the “Golden Arches.”

  6. Mr. Mirth says:

    “You want flies with that?”

  7. Mr. Mirth says:

    “… Sailors came and sailors went and the price went down to fifteen cent…” – An Old Ditty

  8. odtley says:

    my apt is up the street from a 24 hour mcdonalds where it seems many hookers take their breaks and i guess pick up johns as well but as far as i know they demand cash not burgers or freedom fries but next time im in there maybe i can see if i can barter my way to a bj with extra special sauce hold the bacon

    • Mr. Mirth says:

      Billion dollar idea… McHookers!
      Walk into our McGolden arches and get a McGolden Shower, Happy Meals with Happy Endings. Five McSluts for only $4. You want that to cum or to go? Do you want us to super size that for you?

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