Dressed To Kill

When it comes to clothing, my idea of fashion is, well, I don’t actually have any ideas.  At home I roll around mostly barefoot and naked — keep that in mind should you ever want to knock on the door to borrow a cup of tequila.  To venture out I’ll find a pair of jeans, most of which were new around the time President Alzheimer replaced the Peanut in the White House, and a cleanish tee shirt.  If I need to dress up a bit, I’ll dig one out with sleeves.

So I don’t know this from personal knowledge, but it says here that the latest trend in men’s clothing is casual wear with extra compartments for concealed weapons.  E.g.:

[Woolrich] has added a second pocket behind the traditional front pocket for a weapon. Or, for those who prefer to pack their gun in a holster, it can be tucked inside the stretchable waistband. The back pockets are also designed to help hide accessories, like a knife and a flashlight.

Pretty snazzy, yes?  And:

“What we’ve tried to do is create a collection of garments that allows the end user to have stylish lifestyle apparel but have features in the garment that enable them to carry a weapon and draw the weapon quickly,” said David Hagler, a vice president at 5.11 Tactical…

The company’s growing concealed-carry line includes a lightweight water-resistant vest coming this fall — the sort of vest that is standard and trendy at any mainstream outdoor shop but has strategic pockets for guns. It also includes a stealth compartment in front so the wearer can appear to be warming his hands while actually gripping a pistol in a waistband holster.

I guess it beats concealing your gun up your ass, which is what I’d have to do, given my style, although some pistoliers I know could easily hide a .38 or a midsized Glock in their fat folds.

Gun experts suggest that there are many reasons for the growth in the number of people with concealed-carry permits. They say it is partly due to a changing political and economic climate — gun owners are professing to want a feeling of control — and state laws certainly have made a difference….After a campaign by gun rights advocates, 37 states now have “shall issue” statutes that require them to provide concealed-carry permits if an applicant meets legal requirements, like not being a felon.

Yes, but ALEC and the NRA are working on that — why should crazy people and felons be denied their god-given 2nd amendment rights to carry guns or weapons of mass destruction?  And now, thanks to the fashion industry, they can look good when they do it!

I guess the next step will be formal wear — tie, tails, and Taurus; perfect for shotgun weddings — or maybe pajamas, so real men can cuddle with their guns against their foreskins rather than under their feather pillows.  Should find plenty of room there in the groin area where the hard-on should be.

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Dressed To Kill

  1. the masspube says:

    Gives new meaning to , is that a gun in your pants or are you just happy to see me.

  2. rbhexem says:

    I like the way she carries her gun. I would like to play with her gun. I would like her to play with my gun.

    • Diesel Fitter says:

      I agree with eyechart here. In fact, why not stop wasting time with the text and just post photos like that one? Even if they don’t have guns.

  3. ya' gotta' guessit says:

    Hover over the photo, and you get:
    “A model presents a swimwear during a fashion show in Budapest”.

    And look at the picture! – is that a healed-up bullet wound just below her ribcage?!

    What kind of insane shit are you getting into?

    And why are you suddenly so interested in Hungarian fashion?
    Planning on stealing a new wardrobe?

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